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Abdi Sultani OUR KIND OF ENGLISH
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What a pity we tend to forget that our readers are busy people with things to do, which means you shouldn’t waste their time by forcing them to read what you’ve already exposed to them earlier in the same sentence!
Yes; many scribblers have categorically refused to heed our advice, that by using a word more than once in a single sentence, you turn off your readers. They conclude you suffer from intellectual laziness!
Just look at what a scribbler does in a story entitled “South Africa repatriates over 100 Tanzanians”, appearing in the Thursday, February 2 edition of the tabloid that’s closely associated with this columnist:
“South Africa has repatriated 108 Tanzanians who were arrested living in the COUNTRY illegally and arrived in the COUNTRY late last week by a charted flight.”
Just check the mess: …arrested living in the country and illegally arrived in the country”!
The scribbler could have avoided this clutter if he delivered his information in at least two sentences. And by the way, what is “charted” flight? We ask this because “charted” is derived from the verb “chart” which means “to make a map, graph, or diagram of something”. We’re certain the scribbler had in mind the word “charter’’, that gives us “charter flight” referring to an aircraft that has been reserved for private use. You may also travel on a charter bus, boat, etc.
Still on repetitiveness. There was, on Wednesday, February 1, in the tabloid that bears the name of a continent, a story entitled “Army doctors start Muhimbili duty” and, purporting to quote the doctors’ spokesman, the scribbler wrote:
“The HOSPITAL is the biggest HOSPITAL and it is where most of the patients are brought when they are seriously sick so due to that we have received the ORDER from the government and obey the ORDER by coming to provide services to rescue the LIFE of the TANZANIANS”. Apart from cases of repetitiveness, there is also a reckless use of the definite article “the”. We should not allow ourselves to communicate (?) like that! And in the Sunday sister tabloid of Bongo’s huge and colourful broadsheet, January 22 – 28 edition, there was a headline that read:
“East Africa NODS region’s peace, security protocol”.
The reader who brought our attention to this noted that we don’t nod things, we just “nod”, for the verb means to “lower and raise one’s head slightly and briefly, like in greeting, assenting, or understanding”.
That is, East African states have not nodded region’s peace and security protocol. Rather, they have given a nod to the same.
Still in the same Sunday tabloid, there was a story on page 5 that was headlined: “How Sh40bn gold heist was foiled”. Giving details on how a criminal gang executed their robbery attempt, the scribbler says:
“The movie-like attempt TO ROB THE PRECIOUS METAL from the custody of the Barrick Gold Mine personnel on January 6 this year was well calculated…”
No, please! We’ve said it several times in this column and let’s say it again: things (like precious metals) are NOT robbed; it’s PEOPLE or institutions that get robbed OF their things! Of course, you can STEAL things (like precious metals) from the custody of people (like the Barrick Gold Mine personnel).
Another word that Bongo scribblers have chosen to stick to – erroneously – is “upcoming”, when they’re describing a person beginning a particular activity or occupation and making good progress and likely to become successful.
Like on page 19 of the weekly that appears on the streets on Thursdays (February 2 -8 edition) in which the headline writer for ‘Your Star’ columns scribblers:
“His name is Kassim Mganga, UPCOMING Bongo Flava artiste”
Nope! Kassim of the ‘Usiende kwa Mganga’ fame is not an upcoming artiste; rather, he’s an UP-AND-COMING artiste.
Ah, this treacherous language called English!
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