Racing against time: Inside women’s silent struggles to keep aging at bay

The saying 'Life begins at 40' evokes mixed feelings for many women. While some embrace it with joy, others worry about aging. A survey by Woman reveals that most women fear aging and are willing to do whatever it takes to maintain a youthful appearance.

This fear is intensified by the societal stigma attached to aging. In a world where youthfulness is celebrated, aging is often unwelcome, as it is regarded as undesirable.

Thanks to technology, however, women who have access to the internet find hope in reversing the natural aging process. Social media is flooded with supposed 'miracle' solutions to stop, reverse, or delay aging—or, more accurately, premature aging.

Amina, 45*, is a woman who goes to great lengths to preserve her youthful looks. Her biggest fear is waking up one day to find that wrinkles have taken away her beauty. She spends over Sh700,000 a month on skincare products and treatments to prevent this.

“I love my glowing skin. I know aging is a natural process, but I wish we could delay or prevent it altogether. Maintaining glowing skin is no joke—it’s a tiring and time-consuming process. I’ve tried countless skincare routines and products just to keep my skin looking young. I’m happy with the results, although deep down, I know I’ll eventually age,” Amina admits.

She shared some of the products she uses, which include Neutrogena bar soap for face washing, Hugo Naturals shower gel, CeraVe hydrating facial cleanser, and CeraVe moisturiser. After moisturising, Amina applies Olay's Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream, followed by Boban sunscreen, before heading out to work.

This is Amina’s daily routine for her face. She repeats the same process at night, step by step, but instead of sunscreen, she applies Sisley night cream, which contains collagen to improve skin moisture and elasticity and reduce fine lines and wrinkles.

“My skincare routine requires me to wake up at six in the morning every day. The entire process takes an hour in the morning and half an hour at night,” shares Amina.

This has been her routine for nearly eight years, and Amina has no plans of stopping anytime soon. After attending beauty training a few years ago, she decided to invest in her skin after meeting older women with radiant skin. The mother of two works in the beauty industry, owning cosmetic shops, massage parlours, and salons.

“My good looks bring in money, and I’m willing to spend whatever it takes to keep my skin looking young,” she notes, adding, “My skin is my investment. I sell beauty products, and people buy them because they see how my skin glows—it’s proof that the products work wonders.

Amina has done chemical peels, exfoliation, and collagen induction therapy; uses sunscreen; drinks plenty of water; and makes sure she gets enough sleep. “These things are expensive, but I don’t mind since I’ve chosen to invest in my skin,' Amina says.

She says the cheapest part of her skincare routine is face washing, whose products cost around Sh75,000. The rest of her skincare regimen is much more expensive, and since these products are used daily, they run out quickly.

Dr Said Mwemba, a dermatologist at Muhimbili National Hospital, often treats women with various skin concerns, including those related to the desire to delay aging. He emphasises the importance of educating these patients to embrace the natural aging process, as this can help alleviate the stress they experience.

Dr Mwemba advises that the best ways to slow aging include eating a balanced diet and exercising. He cautions against the frequent use of products with chemicals, emphasising that while anti-aging products are available, natural methods—such as drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and allowing the natural aging process to unfold—are preferable.

“Skin care can be expensive, as many products are made with costly ingredients. While there’s no harm in caring for your skin, it's important to accept each stage of life. Wrinkles are part of human growth and should be embraced,” he advises.

Dr Mwemba also notes that there is a significant evolution in beauty, particularly in skincare. He says the pressure to keep up with beauty trends needs to be managed through education, helping people understand that aging naturally is a blessing.

He stresses that the unrealistic expectations set by society should be ignored, and individuals should allow nature to take its course.

Esther, 40*, is among the women stressed by the aging process. She acknowledges that it's natural to fear change but believes that coping becomes easier with the right information.

“I'm sure you're doing this story to learn something for yourself before sharing it with others. You might as well be searching for ways to delay aging. The answers you're seeking are the same ones that stress out many women,” she jokes.

“I have serious acne, which stresses me out, and the thought of aging with bad skin is another source of anxiety. I’m grateful to the doctor who guided me through important stages of acne treatment and the aging process. I’m now more accepting of aging, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop using recommended products to slow it down,” she says with a chuckle.

Maureen, 35*, a business consultant in Dar es Salaam and a mother of one, shares Amina and Esther's fear of aging but is more concerned about the joint pain that often comes with it.

'I grew up seeing my mother complain about joint pain as she aged. I believe being overweight contributes to the pain, and it runs in our genes—we all have big bodies. I don’t want to go down that path,' says Maureen.

To avoid this in old age, Maureen decided to have only one child. She recalls hearing her aunts say that pain in old age was related to having many children.

Although she doesn’t know any woman her age with many children who experiences body aches, Maureen firmly believes her mother's body pain was due to having seven children.

Dr Ngwegwe Damas from Serengeti District in Mara Region clarifies that there is no direct relationship between childbearing and body pain. He says the pain is caused by various factors, including old age.

“Body changes come with pain for everyone. For women, hitting menopause can lead to a loss of oestrogen, which can cause muscle or joint pain,” Dr Damas explains.

He advises women to identify the type of pain they are experiencing and seek proper medical treatment rather than self-prescribing at home. To prevent joint pain, Dr Damas recommends maintaining a healthy weight and dedicating time to exercise to keep the body fit.

The fear of aging extends beyond wrinkles and sagging skin. Some women also worry about losing their sexual desire. According to online sources, it's common for women to experience a decline in sexual desire and function in their late 40s and early 50s.

This is the case for Selina Thomas, 48, a banker in Dar es Salaam. Selina* shares that her sexual life has changed significantly over the past five years. She had never been concerned about losing her physical attraction until she realised that aging could impact her intimate life as well.

“I went into early menopause. At age 42, I became dry down there. Three years later, I lost interest in sex. My husband and I are no longer happy; he accuses me of having an affair because he doesn’t understand what I’m going through,” Selina explains.

When asked if she worries about other bodily changes associated with aging, she said that dealing with early menopause has been so overwhelming that the rest of the aging process doesn’t concern her.

Selina and her husband have visited several hospitals and tried various medications, but according to her, nothing has worked effectively.

Charles Nduku, a psychologist, explains that women experience menopause differently. While some face libido issues due to menopause, others may see an increase in their sexual desire. He notes that this variation often depends on a woman's lifestyle at that particular age and extends beyond just mental health.

“In their 40s and 50s, many women juggle significant family responsibilities, and if these are not managed well, it can negatively impact their libido,” says the psychologist.

Nduku emphasises the importance of regular health check-ups and following doctors' advice to avoid unnecessary health risks.

Dr Damas recommends that couples facing these challenges focus on understanding the root of the issue, creating a supportive environment, making lifestyle changes, and engaging in shared hobbies. He believes this approach can foster relaxation, introduce new experiences, and ultimately enhance their sex life.

*The women's names have been changed for privacy.