How Fatma builds family bonds in Dar outdoors via hiking

Parents hardly have time to connect with their children and truly follow their progress in life and school. Within no time, they will feel like they are living with strangers under their roof, an unfathomable scenario for any parent.

Fatma Fernandes, a mother of three—a seven-year-old boy, a six-year-old girl, and a two-year-old daughter—has perfected the art of active parenting; she has demarcated her time between her husband, her children, and work, yielding a balanced and healthy life for her family.

Her children are now used to the long hikes; they even look forward to the Sundays when they go around the Dar es Salaam hills for the trek.

Unbeknownst to many, Dar es Salaam has several suitable hills that are a blend of a serene forest with small wildlife and active hiking tracks that can make one closer to nature while at the heart of the metropolitan grind.

They have hiked on the Pande game reserves; the hills that are 45 kilometres northwest of Dar es Salaam city centre bordering the Msakuzi and Mabwepande villages are a hotspot for bird watching, camping, nature trail cycling, and hiking. Fatma and her preteen children embarked on a 33-kilometre hike.

The hike was long and adventurous, and towards the end of their hike, they got lost on their trail, but luckily the Pande forestry authority came to the rescue.

The initial plan was to do a 10-kilometre mountaineering; they were in two groups totalling 15 with their children.

After reaching the 10-kilometre mark, they got excited and decided to go some extra distance just for fun.

By the time they got to 21 kilometres, some families in the group got exhausted, having been their first time in the forest. It was a nice experience for the kids, looking at the stars in the sky and breathing the fresh air.

Along the way, they decided to find a shortcut through the forest, and that’s when they got stranded and lost.

“We had to call for backup to get us out, but we had already done more than 30 kilometres,” she said.

Getting lost didn’t ruin the family time but rather emboldened the children and the mother, because soon after they went for another hike, being more experienced and cautious as well.

“It has been fun; we went to Pugu and another place they call Vikindu,” she revealed.

Fatma advocates for outdoor time with your family; it’s unbelievably affordable too, something that most Dar city dwellers are not privy to.

It took Fatma a while to get to know these places when she started Monti School. 

Tanzania in Mikocheni, a nursery and primary school, she had to explore places where her students could have hands-on experience, teaching them independence and self-reliance.

They created school trips for their students to understand their environment, and they had to dig deep and do research; to her amazement, they found out that Dar es Salaam has nice outdoor places people are not aware of. 

Ever since, they have been taking children out there to experience nature. “People in Dar are too busy; at most they would go to a nearby bar and call it a weekend, but Dar is blessed with some of the best forestry and hills that are suitable for hiking and nature walks,” she said.

Fatma started posting on social media about her family trips into the mountains, hoping other parents would join in; she introduced some parents at her school as well.

In a city where everyone is cautious about what they spend, trekking on the hills in Dar es Salaam would cost you no more than 50 thousand; that’s what Fatma, her husband, and three kids paid as a family package. 

Just 20 US dollars for a group of five people is a bargain, considering that the package comes with a guide who will take you around the whole trip.

Vitindu forest is still the undiscovered hikers’ paradise not many are aware of. Located near Mbagala, the forest is not heavily populated.

One can do a 10-kilometre or 5-kilometre hike depending on one’s fitness.

She emphasizes the importance of bonding with nature, the calmness it brings, a form of meditation, “we all have hectic lifestyles but when you are in the forest you can’t be on your phone, you have to keep up the pace and enjoy the nature while engaging in a conversation with your kids, you have to be present” she said. 

Nature is the best time to connect with your children, your mind is not clogged with all the technology and the platitudes of everyday inconveniences, out there it’s just you, the birds in the trees, and your children, will all the time in the world to bond. 

These moments will be looked back on with fondness when they grow out of the best, so you better make them count.

Running a school, Fatma is surrounded by kids daily; she reminds parents that children need the constant affirmation of love; you have to tell them that you love them, and during the solitude hikes, kids can feel your full concentration on them and your time together.

This is also the time when you can talk to them about their behaviour, gently raising issues that you have observed that you need to address and urging them to improve. 

You can also teach them about respect and values that you want to instill in your children and many kids. During these hectic hikes, when children can learn about the value of hard work and pushing forward even when you are tired, Fatma said, it’s ok to show that as a parent you are also tired but you are not stopping, and they would have learnt a valuable life lesson. 

In the wilderness, children learn to improvise and think for themselves; hiking is a lifestyle a child needs; it builds resilience into a child and also develops leadership skills.

Fatma still has time for herself, she makes sure every day after 7:30 PM, her kids know Mum needs time for herself, she occasionally takes vacations with her husband, just the two of them, which she insists is key in building a stronger marriage that is also beneficial for their children.

“We all need time away from our children, but it has to be intentional,” she says. “When they are young, this is when they need you the most, so spend that time,” she added.

For people who have never hiked, the forest might seem like a scary experience, but hiking has an upside to building a healthy parent-child relationship; it builds love.

In a Tanzanian society that believes in punishment whenever a child does something wrong, it is a breath of fresh air to take time to connect and teach your child the way of life and you can do all that within a reasonable distance from your city life and the perk of hiking in Dar es Salaam is that you get immersed in the forest while still within the safety of the city and its abundant resources to come to your assistance if need be.