Learning how to live a purpose driven lifestyle

I never truly understood why people said that when you get to a certain age, certain things fall in line. It is not a proven scientific fact but I am learning to understand that I do not really know much.

As I approached another milestone age, I challenged myself to reading even more than I usually do, and for those that do not know my immense love for reading, allow me to enlighten you; it is a lot of reading.

This was an added challenge to my thirty days of thanksgiving that together, helped me understand and question purpose, as it pertains to milestone ages of any human being.

What is purpose?

I’m pretty sure everybody has an answer to this. It is the why to our existence. It is the reason why anything is as it is and the reason you exist. You are here to serve a purpose and in whatever capacity you find yourself, serve you will.

Sounds simple enough right? Yeah, I thought as much until I decided to speak to someone. You see, for many, it is expected that by a certain age or after acquiring certain wisdom, one would definitely understand what their purpose is and that has been nothing short of misleading.

Theoretically, we all understand purpose and many actually think they are living their purpose. However, purpose is not so easily identified as it is defined and many of us still struggle to find what we ought to be doing with our lives.

Why purpose?

Many of us still struggle with the concepts of traditional expectations and we have no idea how best to incorporate our purpose to live our full potential. We see it but it is a lot like peeping through a keyhole into a future we not really sure how to.

What’s even more frustrating for many is the knowledge that we do have a key that can fit through this keyhole yet it is lost in a bunch of keys we holding and have no idea how to use it to open this door.

A sense of purpose appears to have evolved in humans so that we can accomplish big things together which may be why it’s associated with better physical and mental health. Purpose is adaptive, in an evolutionary sense. It helps both individuals and the species to survive.

When we look up to our role models, mentors, bosses and even parents, we always assume that because we put them up on a pedestal, then they have probably found their purpose and are living it, case and point, Mwananchi Communication Limited’s Managing Director, Mr Bakari Machumu.

As nerve wrecking as it was, it was important to me to push myself out of my comfort zone to try and understand this journey of purpose and who better to speak to than the captain of a ship I so happen to be a part of?

Lucy: What is your purpose?

Bakari: I would say purpose is something that describes why you exist, so for me my purpose is to make a difference in everything I do.

For example, in a company like ours that produces newspapers, our purpose isn’t producing those papers; rather it is embedded in our mission statement which would be what we aim to achieve for the people we serve. It goes beyond the material and money.

I would give you Wangari Muta Maathai, the first African woman to win a Nobel Prize. She was an environmentalist and activist whose purpose was to protect the environment. Her words were “my little thing is to plant trees.”

Q: Are you living in your purpose?

A: Yes, I believe I am. I strive to make a difference in everything I do and so if I tell you that I am going to do this, then I will use all my ability to make it happen.

I have identified my talent and skill. I believe I have that analytical mind that helps me to see beyond a situation to find mitigation for it. At times I may take longer to make decisions but when I do, I stand with it because I have had time to analyse it thoroughly.

I do however, have to think of the intended audience and the unintended audience who may equally be affected by my decision.

Q: How do you identify your purpose?

A: How soon and how quickly you come to know your purpose is what will make you an even more relevant person. It is a long and difficult journey that has no direct answer or path. For some, they begin to excel from a young age while it may take longer for others.

At times, purpose also goes with talent so finding that thing that you are naturally good at goes a long way in helping you figure out what your purpose is.

However, this is where it gets interesting because talent doesn’t always translate to purpose. Talent is just a starting point. Rather, how you use your talent for the betterment of your community and the world at large. Purpose is geared to answer or fill in a gap that no one else can. It can also be linked to another person’s talent, much like pieces of a puzzle, to form a greater purpose.

As a young lady still winging this thing called life, I found it quite humbling when a person I respected and looked up to truthfully admitted to me that he hadn’t really put is purpose into simple words. For Bakari, his purpose is to make a difference in everything he does’.

Vague right? I thought as much. His response had me thinking that my boss was pulling bureaucracy on me but we both realised that in as much as we understand the general direction of our purpose, rarely do we take the time to chip off the rough edges and streamline it into that one little thing like Wangari did.

That one little thing is the seed that will grow our tree of purpose. She did that little thing, in her corner of the world yet the roots dug deep and the tree grew wide enough to earn her a Nobel.

Many of us believe that purpose arises from our special gifts and sets us apart from other people but that’s only part of the truth. It also grows from our connection to others, which is why a crisis of purpose is often a symptom of isolation. Once you find your path, you’ll almost certainly find others traveling along with you, hoping to reach the same destination a community.

How to find your purpose

I recently read a book titled ‘Lady, before you are 30’ by Tolulope Ajayi which talks about some of the lessons you should have picked up as you approach that milestone age and the vision of the trajectory of your life that you should be working towards.

In it, finding purpose was one of the core topics. She and many other scholars, counsellors and gurus have outlined essential guidelines to helping one find their purpose.

I sum them as the inward and outward guidelines because it is a double sided sword when trying to figure out your purpose.

Inward

1. Read - Reading connects us to people we’ll never know, across time and space. There is a lot buried in books that we may take for granted. I read somewhere once that ‘there is no challenge you can face that someone hasn’t already found a solution to and written about’.

Our paths all intertwine inexplicably and the more we read, the better our chances are of finding our purpose and getting a head start using solutions someone before us came with.

2. Turn hurts into healing for others – This was my personal starting point in the journey of trying to find my purpose. It took a lot of life’s beating for me to finally sit down and come up with a solution that works for me.

I turned to writing for therapy which morphed into something that I now know might help someone in the future.

Finding purpose is not just an intellectual pursuit; it’s something we need to feel. That’s why it can grow out of suffering, both our own and others.

3. Cultivate awe, gratitude, and altruism - Certain emotions and behaviours that promote health and well-being can also foster a sense of purpose, specifically, awe, gratitude, and altruism.

The experience of awe makes us feel connected to something larger than ourselves and so can provide the emotional foundation for a sense of purpose.

Of course, awe all by itself won’t give you a purpose in life. It’s not enough to just feel like you’re a small part of something big; you also need to feel driven to make a positive impact on the world. That’s where gratitude and generosity come into play.

Interestingly, gratitude and altruism seem to work together to generate meaning and purpose.

Outward

1. Listen - To what other people appreciate about you, the criticism that comes your way and even the gossip. Giving thanks can help you find your purpose. But you can also find purpose in what people thank you for. Much like the positivity, listening to criticism and gossip will teach you that which you may not so readily want to appreciate about your attitude, behaviour and if you are discerning enough to read between the lines, you will see what, where and how to fix things.

2. Find and build a community - Often, the nobility of our purpose reflects the company we keep. You need a community that motivates you to live out your purpose, supports the steps you take to live it and also hold you accountable to the decisions you make that may impact how your life.

3. Tell your story – Living a purpose driven lifestyle is a great way to be a role model. However, being able to tell your story in its raw nature and avail yourself in all your vulnerability is quite possibly one of the highest ranks of living in your purpose.

Telling your story not only inspires those who look up to you; it also brings you to a level where people who are on a similar path are able to relate to you.

Purpose often arises from curiosity about your own life. What obstacles have you encountered? What strengths helped you to overcome them? How did other people help you? How did your strengths help make life better for others?

A continuous cycle of asking yourself these questions, answering them and holding yourself accountable also helps you chip away at those corners and continue to fulfil your purpose deeper.

The journey to identifying and eventually living your purpose is no easy one. You may be good at something or even enjoy doing something so much so that it becomes an integral part of you.

I am a fixer at heart. I also enjoy writing because it became my safe haven when life came at me raging.

However, the biggest lesson I got from my boss is that I now need to figure out a way to combine what is in my heart and what I enjoy to help in my corner of the world.

Whatever that fixer-writer me figures out, that will be my little thing and that way, I will be able to use my words and platforms in a manner befitting my community.

So then what is your little thing? How will you make your difference?