This small book offers more than banter between its two main characters. It explores how we perceive criticism, how we relate to others, and how we understand freedom, all shaped by who we are and what we believe.
Ageing is such an interesting phenomenon. When I was young, I couldn't wait to grow up so I could make my own decisions without needing my parents' permission. But now that I am independent and relatively old, some days I need someone to tell me what to do and exactly how to do it. In The Beggar Student by Osamu Dazai, translated by Sam Bett, Osamu experiences the same paradox.
He is a 32-year-old writer, or at least he hopes to be one. He feels defeated after sending his terrible manuscript to his editor. He knows the story is awful but still sends it because he had promised to do so, and he did not want to break that promise; that is not the Japanese way of life.
“If I hadn’t sent the manuscript today, I would have broken a promise to my editor. You see, I made the dumb mistake of promising to send the story today at the latest.”
As a perfectionist who values keeping your word, it hurts when you fall short. I know because I live by the same terms. I feel bad for breaking a promise but worse for not doing my best. It’s a vicious circle we battle as we age.
As he beats himself up for doing what he hates just to keep his word, he wanders, too ashamed to go home. Along the Tamagawa Canal, he sees a young man swimming happily, naked. Unable to save himself, he decides he must save this young man, whom he believes is in danger.
“This is a disaster! He is going to drown! So what if I can't swim? I can't just let him die! I’m going to die someday; it may as well be now.”
But that is the thing with perceptions. The limits of our experiences shape how we see the world. As he gets down to the bridge, he realises the young man is having the best time of his life and does not need rescuing at all.
He is simply a young man trying to make sense of his own life, as we all are. He struggles with disappointment toward a father he believes should be doing more with his life. He lost his mother. But through it all, he is still searching for a silver lining.
Their meeting begins a day of banter between a young man and an older one. The elder thinks the youth is arrogant; the youth thinks the elder knows it all. Isn’t that always the case in our societies?
But the truth is, young people know exactly who they are and what is best for them based on their own experiences, hopes, and dreams.
The writer, the older man, is so determined to show the boy that he knows better. Whatever the young person says is met with opposition.
“Clearly, you envy me. When a feeble idiot encounters a youthful genius, it drives him crazy. He needs to shut down every single thing the young guy says to feel superior.”
This small book is more than just the banter between its two main characters. It explores how we perceive criticism, how we relate to others, and how we understand freedom. Everything depends on who we are and what we believe.
For example, the author argues that nature offers no freedom and is not a friend to reason. This is why reason is so compelling: it is what holds society together. Through reason, we can think, plan, and make choices. And the choices we make determine the kind of life we live.
Human beings are self-centred in nature. We are selfish beyond reason. We see this in the writer as the boy shares his life with him. He does not care because it has nothing to do with him.
“I guess I have no patience listening to people talk about themselves. I try to listen, but in no time, every thought is overshadowed by the question of what any of this has to do with me.”
We often hide our most authentic selves to maintain the image we think others expect, not for them, but for our own comfort. The writer finds himself running an errand for the young man, just to appear humble. That is how we become victims of our own choices.
This philosophical book will have you questioning your sense of self and how others perceive you. It is a longing for youthfulness, a cry for years gone by, and the time you will never retrieve. But it is also a reminder to enjoy life wherever it finds you. There is no better day to be alive than today. There is no better age to be than the age you are now.
Jane Shussa is a digital communication specialist with a love for books, coffee, nature, and travel. She can be reached at [email protected].
