‘The Only Constant: A Guide to Embracing Change and Leading an Authentic Life’ by Najwa Zebian

Change—whatever it might mean to you—is rarely easy. Whether it’s a good change, a bad one, or something in between, there’s always that uncomfortable feeling of leaving behind what’s familiar. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone, that state of being you’ve perhaps come to identify with.

It could be a relationship, a job, a habit, or anything that defines your daily life. Change often feels like letting go of everything you know and stepping into the unknown without guaranteeing how things will turn out.

In The Only Constant: A Guide to Embracing Change and Leading an Authentic Life, Najwa Zebian explores what change means and how to navigate it to live authentically.

In this book, Zebian offers readers principles and steps to attaining change that people grapple with daily. She weaves her wisdom from her personal emotional experiences from childhood to adulthood. Her reflections on friendship, love, belongingness, and identity resonate throughout the book.

In the chapter “Why Change is Hard,” Zebian explains why most people perceive change as challenging—especially when it isn’t a choice. Life often forces us to change, and sometimes its drama leaves us with no option but to adapt. For instance, when faced with an illness, logic dictates that you change or perish.

Zebian argues that change feels difficult because we often want it to be effortless. We envision the result—the better job, the healthier lifestyle, the improved relationships—but shy away from the uncomfortable steps required to get there. She writes, “Change is hard because we focus so much on how hard change is instead of seeing it as a path to live the life we want.” This perspective challenges readers to reframe their mindset and embrace discomfort as a necessary part of growth.

Ask yourself: Are you the same person you were two years ago? Do you believe the same things you once did? Are you living the same life you did then? Of course not. Life keeps evolving, leaving you behind if you don’t change. Because life waits for no one, we can only embrace it and move forward.

“Change is the necessary path to the life you want. Hardship, or lack of ease, at least, is natural. When we start changing what we normally do, it’s common to experience struggle, especially if you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.”

The reason for your change shapes how you experience and perceive it. Zebian highlights the importance of evaluating your motives. Who are you doing it for? Why are you doing it? To what end? These are essential questions to ask before choosing to change.

Zebian suggests that for change to happen and for you to live authentically, you must decide to be a person who makes choices—a person who knows that, whatever happens, you always have a choice. She emphasises the need to discover your authentic self without filtering your identity to please others or maintain an image you’ve created.

“Discovering who you are involves becoming aware of your habits, patterns, and ways of thinking and being. It urges you to go back to the earliest stories in your life when you began forming beliefs about yourself, your worth, and your place in other people’s lives. It requires becoming aware of how you fell into the patterns of self-betrayal or abandonment.”

The book emphasises the need for harmony between the body and the mind. For change to happen, the body and mind must be aligned. Sometimes, the mind is ready to move, but the body clings to what feels safe, even if it is not. 

“Your body has a choice to make just as your mind does. Your body will not make the choice that your mind has decided is healthy if you don’t give it a seat at the table. The most beautiful moment will be when your mind and body are in alignment, when your mind stops judging you and shaming you for the changes you know you need to make, and when your mind actually sits with your body and gives it the same compassion and empathy it would give to anyone out there.”

While readers may encounter some repetition of ideas, this does not detract from the book’s significance for those struggling with change. You’re left with the hope that nothing in life is permanent; things will change. Zebian urges you to radically accept yourself and your reality as you go through life. Be as compassionate and kind to yourself as you would be to your loved ones. “Trust yourself and be the narrator of your story.”

Jane Shussa is passionate about books, coffee, nature, and travel. She serves as a Senior Digital Communications Officer for Twaweza East Africa.