Gentle reminders if you’ve had a toxic boss this year

Dear Professional,

Over the past few years writing this column, I’ve read countless emails from many of you and there’s one theme that consistently shows up in my inbox - toxic work environments. Whether it’s a manager who belittles your ideas, favouritism or unrealistic expectations that stretch you beyond your limits. The fact is, workplaces aren’t always the productive sanctuaries we hope they’ll be.

As I sit down to write this, I’m reminded of my own experiences with toxic leadership—the long days filled with tension and the quiet dread that settled in every Monday morning. I once worked under a boss who seemed to use his temper as a tool, spreading a climate of fear and anxiety throughout our team.

No matter how hard I worked or how carefully I tried to meet expectations, it was never enough. There was a sense that my contributions—and those of my colleagues—were either undervalued or simply invisible. The constant criticism and the occasional, thinly veiled remarks that hinted at something more than just professional dissatisfaction chipped away at my confidence.

I wasn’t alone in feeling this way; the high turnover in our office was testament to just how many others had struggled to survive this relentless cycle of negativity.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that I understand. This letter is for you—the professional who has felt minimised, and who has had to pick themselves up day after discouraging day.

Use these reminders for the journey ahead. You are worthy of respect and are more than the insecurities imposed on you. You’re not stuck; there’s a path forward, and it starts by remembering your own value.

A toxic boss often projects their issues onto others. It’s not you, it’s them. When they micromanage, criticise, or play power games, they’re often working through their insecurities, not yours. We tend to internalise negative feedback, thinking we’re somehow “not enough”. This is your reminder that their opinion doesn’t define your worth or your abilities.

A toxic environment can slowly erode your sense of self if you’re not careful but I urge you to create clear boundaries around your work and personal life, and stick to them as much as possible. Maybe that means not answering emails after hours, declining to take on extra work that wasn’t discussed, or refusing to engage in office gossip.

Constructive feedback is one thing; incessant, demeaning criticism is another. If you’re constantly being put down, remember, just because someone is critical doesn’t mean they’re right.

Try to mentally separate helpful feedback from harmful criticism. Look for feedback that’s actionable—something you can improve on or use to grow. The rest? File it away under “opinion.” Protect your peace.

If your manager isn’t providing the guidance or support you need, don’t be afraid to look elsewhere for inspiration. Remember, your career isn’t solely defined by one person’s opinion; rather, it’s shaped by a network of people who believe in your success.

If you’re working under a toxic boss, it can feel like there’s no end in sight, but remember that this is only a season. As bleak as things may feel now, it’s important to see beyond the present. Toxic environments rarely last forever; people move on, companies evolve, and you’re growing stronger with every day. Instead of focusing on how to survive, think about how this season might serve you in the future.

You can walk away, there’s no shame in recognising that a workplace isn’t good for you, and leaving doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You deserve a workplace that sees your potential, supports your growth, and treats you with respect. Life is too short to stay in a place that doesn’t value you. If it’s possible to transition, do it –give yourself the chance to thrive elsewhere.

I’m hopeful that the new year ahead is filled with opportunities for you

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