Help! I think my boss hates me

You've evaluated all internal and external signs and scenarios, and they all point to the possible fact that your boss… doesn’t like you.

You may be dealing with a boss who is extremely difficult to work with or a manager who has her favourites, and you are not one of them. Whatever the scenario may be, your relationship with your higher-ups is going to impact your career.

I want to encourage you to get real and take accountability. This relationship comprises a two-way communication model, and you are half the equation.

If you were looking to read an article on how to effectively brown-nose and use psychological tricks to get your boss to like you, you are reading the wrong article. It’s time to look at yourself in the professional mirror.

Understand that your boss has their own priorities. There is also plenty that is going on behind the scenes. Take a moment to list out your boss’s responsibilities that you know of. Ask yourself if you are making their life easier or more difficult.

What may you be doing or not doing that may be affecting your relationship? Go through the week and make a list. You may find that there is an area or two (or much more) that you may need to work on.

The next step is to reframe your mindset and expectations for the relationship with your leader. You don’t have to be your boss’ best friend or even have a good relationship with your higher-ups but do aim to have a productive one.

A productive relationship focuses on results. Your manager doesn’t need to like you, and you don’t need to like them, but you do need to produce results.

When you have an outcome-based relationship that focuses on your performance and how you impact your team and the company at large, no one can deny that you are good at what you do and hopefully this fact will compel your employer to give you more opportunities in future.

Now that you may have established a productive relationship and worked on a few areas that needed improvement, let’s take a step further to continue to ensure that you are not your boss’ problem.

What I mean by this is that oftentimes, we can spot inadequacies and problems, and as a result, we point them out to our higher-ups. This is great, but it's missing something… a solution or, at the very least, a suggestion for a correction.

Sometimes what we fail to realise is that by highlighting faults or gaps without possible solutions, we essentially add more to the boss’ professional plate. You may have the very best of intentions but aim to be solution-oriented in your presentation of problems.

Allow your boss to acknowledge that you noticed the gap and came up with the solution. You still may never be her favourite but your efforts will be noted.

It's a challenge to work alongside people we don’t like or vice versa. Sometimes no one is at fault and it could simply be a case of two personalities that don’t mix; sometimes it’s worse.

I encourage you not to miss out on a huge growth potential opportunity by taking a moment to self-reflect and ask yourself what you are learning from the scenario. Remember, each leader serves a purpose in your growth, both professionally and personally. 

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