When parents impose a career choice on children

Doing something you are passionate about gives you that extra zeal to work even harder. You wake up each morning with a goal to succeed.

Due to life circumstances propagated by different reasons, we find that most people work in jobs that they never really enjoy. This may be a result of various reasons; they could either be working in a wrong profession, lacking the requisite education requirements, working in the right profession but losing interest along the way. The question then comes: Why would one work in a field they don’t like?

One of the leading reasons is lack of adequate employment opportunities, thus compelling people or graduates to do whatever job is available for them to earn a living.

However, in many circumstances there is an underlying factor which leads to one ending up involved in a workline that they do not enjoy; that is family pressure. There is a tendency by some parents to push their children into pursuing certain careers, which they do not have passion for.

Traditionally, parents had a tendency to be ahead of their children in terms of being knowledgeable about things. So it follows that even in education, schooled parents tend to think they know what is better for their children. This is the foundation of uncalled for intrusion by parents.

Parents impose their opinions and choices on their children without considering what talent and interest the child has.

Ashura Ramadhan is one among hundreds of children whose parents forced them to take a career path they didn’t want. Ashura says her mother, who is a nurse, had influenced her to become a nurse too, a career she did not like to pursue.

“Soon after completed my O’Level education, my parents insisted that I should study nursing. They started searching for nursing colleges for me to enrol,” says Ashura, adding; “I told them that was not a career path I wanted to pursue but they insisted on their choice.”

Ashura, whose ambition was to become a Fashion Designer, says that her mother told her that if she doesn’t want to go for a nursing course, then no one will pay for her school fees.

Hating the job

Doing a job you are not passioante about is not easy. “Sometimes I found myself hating the nursing job,” says Ashura, further explaining; “A nurse should be someone who is humble especially when attending to patients. Sometimes some patients are too arrogant and difficult to attend to. I found myself very angry in such situations.”

“My parents are not aware that what they did will hurt me for the rest of my life. I’ve worked as a nurse for almost six years but I do not enjoy it at all,” she adds.

Ashura advises parents to guide children on making the right life choices other than imposing on them their own preferred choices.

Khalfan Namtwanga, a Dar resident says he changed his career path after seven years. He says his parents forced him to become a teacher, a profession he did not like to pursue.

“I simply followed what my father advised me and as a result I am nowhere. I became a teacher but I didn’t enjoy what I was doing. Now I am taking an engineering course at the university of Dar es Salaam. I want to fulfill my dream of becoming an engeneer,” says Khalfan.

For some parents, career can be a family thing. It is normal for parents to expect their children to opt for a career majority of family members are in. For example, if the family runs a business, parents will always expect their children to handle the family business in the future.

Zabron Lukona, 45, a father of two, says it is natural that every parent would think and want what is the best for his or her child.

“Parents should learn not to force their choices on their children when raising them. They should instead offer them different suggestions on what they should do so as to succeed in life,” he says.

A music teacher from TSRCA (an organisation that works with schools and social institutions to assist children in shaping a better future for themselves), Brenda Ngasaru says many parents are blind sighted by quantifying success in monetary terms which then leads to them imposing career paths that will potentially be more rewarding in monetary terms.

Once this is solved and a paradigm shift is experienced then there will be more clarity in selecting career paths. It is good to deal with the root of the problem rather than a symptom.

She says success is relatively subjective in terms of its measurement and it is heavily influenced by the social class one is in and intends to be in and therefore is shaped by social stratification. What may be counted as success in one social class may be considered a norm in another. It is also important to mention that even in social stratification and social classes there are different divisions within the three major classes. Which will also shape the view of success

“Personally, I believe that part of success is taking what you have and multiplying it to improve yourself,” he says, adding, “As an educator I would personally advice parents to rethink the career choices they impose on their children and avoid their opinions of the possible monetary output of a career to be the GPS for their child’s future.

There are more important aspects in a child’s life to look at when equipping them for the future such as their strength, desires and ambitions. These are better indicators and assisting them in those areas prepares them better to tackle whatever they may face in the work place which is constantly changing,”she notes.

Brenda adds, “imagine preparing a child for a career that will be considered redundant by the time they graduate or before they find an exit in that path. Therefore selecting your children’s career path is handing them a future but equipping them for the future they desire is much more impactful and admirable and will leave a mark they cannot forget,” notes Brenda

A teacher and coordinator at Legendary Performers Dar es Salaam, Wilfred Alex says undoubted is a fact that parents have roles to play in the future of their children. They act as guarantors, custodians, guide and coaches of their offsprings. It is known as a parents’ responsibility. And this is an age old wisdom.

“This fact is highly controversial and tends to bring more arguments than answers. Is it good or otherwise when parents impose their wills upon their children? Is career choice a matter of family discussion or directive? The answer is not direct however one regards it. Because either way, it can work. Yet I should move promptly to note that making it a family discussion sounds better than forcing it upon the learners. This is because at the end of the day the learners are the ones concerned,” he explains.

Wilfred adds that “in recent years, there has been an added edge in the matter, for example, job market has become a nuance that frustrates a great number of parents. Having a kid one incurred exorbitant costs to educate roaming around is a scare. Limited job opportunity has threatened the semblance of democracy that parents have been indulging with their children. It is becoming business now. A parent wants his/her child to go out and get a certificate that is employable. Anything to the contrary is scary. Some parents have made it their role to push the learners towards specific careers than the rest,” notes Alex.

Edwin Mapalala from Repssi Psychosocial, an NGO which deals with the wellbeing for all children, says it is not rigt for parents to force a child to take the parents’ career choice.

“Parents need to lead their children to choose the right profession and not to make decisions for the children. If you help to nurture children’s talent from the beginning the child will grow knowing which career is the best for him or herself. Parents should believe in their children and they should be gentle in directing a career choice and not imposing it on them,” notes Edwin, country manager of Repssi.

He further says there are parents who want their children to get that secure job although the job is not suited to the child. “No wonder we have so many people miserable in their jobs, they are not happy about their job. Allow them to choose, advice them but don’t make the decion for them,” he stresses.

Eva Mabula, a mother of four is of the opinion that if children do not want to take their parents career, then they should persue their dream by convincing their parents on the advantanges of their choices.