THE PUB: What a pity, they think ‘niko vizuri’!

The beauty of alcoholic beverages is that, it makes you relax and put your worries aside, more so after you’ve swallowed a reasonable amount.

I’m talking about the benefits of responsible drinking.

The trouble is, drinking costs money. And, if you get addicted, meaning you have to get a drink come what may! If that’s your situation, then you’re in trouble!

An addict reaches a point where he’ll forfeit his last shilling, the shilling that should maybe go to his child’s school stationery, so that he remains with money to buy his “badly needed” drink.

We’re talking about the person who’ll skip a meal but will not skip his daily bottle.

I’m familiar with people who will not buy cheap makongoro (animal hooves) soup or anything eatable even as they drown themselves in beer.

You’d think he doesn’t like eating, but ask him to pick a bite from your plate of nyama-choma and see!

He’ll outpace you as he justifies his speed, “Bro, this is very good meat; they must be having very good cooks here!” “Damn him,” you’ll say to yourself, cursing inwardly, for you don’t have the courage to stop him and say, “Hey, bro, nilitaka uonje tu!”

It can be hard when you’re an addict, you can’t afford a drink, and you’re in a bar.

Like it’s happening during this period, for instance, when every football fan has to be out there to enjoy with others the best soccer display on the continent, displayed by home-based professionals.

Bar management makes it mandatory that you buy something to consume as you watch a match, which is why you see hapless fans order, at least, a bottle of water or soda—grudgingly.

It can be real torture when your team wins and you jump up and down holding a bottle of water and not a beer.

I know that clearly; that’s why I understand when this fellow, call him Petro, leans towards you and says, “My dear mzee, could you please give me two thou so that I can get a Double Kick to celebrate well our victory?”

I part with two thou for my compatriot whose happiness I share. As he goes for his tough stuff, another fellow to my left who must have seen me part with thou on the request of Peter.

He meekly says to me, “Mzee, I could also do with a drink…me, I could do with a Safari…”I’m so happy we’ve beaten Madagascar… I need a beer to celebrate.”

To cut a long story short, let me note here that by the time I leave the place, at least six compatriots, including a couple of barmaids, have insisted I buy them a drink so that “everybody” can rejoice at Taifa Stars’ 2-1 victory against the formidable Madagascans.

Fortunately (or is it unfortunately) for me, there’s something like real dosh in my plastic wallet today (don’t ask kivipi?), and I don’t want to disappoint all these freeloaders who wrongly believe niko vizuri.

Eti Wa Muyanza is a man of means! What a joke!