Changing religion for love

Love is a beautiful thing, and it is made even greater when two souls decide to form a union. But love is also known to cause great pain; people do the most unthinkable of things in the name of love. At times, things done for the sake of love are celebrated, but there are those situations where the whole society chastises their own for something that was done out of sheer affection. From courtship, to eventually getting married, there are a lot of things that unfold along the way – things that could either make or break a relationship.

 As we know, Tanzania is a secular nation, meaning that there is no alignment to one specific religion; this offers an opportunity for one to choose his or her religion. Now when it comes to relationships which are headed towards marriage, there will rise a situation where the conviction of the couple will be an area of interest not only to the couple, but family and relatives too.

If it happens that the couple doesn’t share the same religion, then there are situations where one will have to convert and join the religion of their partner. It is not mandatory that a couple needs to be of the same religion so as to get married or stay together, it’s a matter of reaching an understanding with your significant other, but there are situations where couples fail to reach an accord. It is such situations that put relationships to the test. The notion of living in an interfaith marriage is at times met with disapproval.

Last month, popular Ghanaian journalist, Raymond Archer, a known Christian converted to Islam after he married a Muslim woman, Nura Salif. What made the couple’s wedding become so popular is not the societal status of the groom, but rather the fact that a man had converted from one religion to another for the sake of love. In today’s setting, the vast majority expect a woman to be the one to convert if such a requirement arises in a relationship. But it is indeed true what they say about love; it is blind and makes people do things that seem out of the ordinary.

The question that we are trying to establish here is; would you change your religion for the sake of love?

Easily said than done

It’s not an easy thing to forsake your religion and form an allegiance with another. Even in everyday life, the topic of religion is one that is deemed to be very sensitive. It is for this reason that some couples have successfully converted to another religion while others have met a brick wall which threatened to topple their relationship.

Careen Mbowe is one of a considerably large number of people who have converted religion for the sake of love. A former Muslim, Mbowe converted to Christianity so as to stay with her man.

“When you truly love someone, you can do anything for their sake,” points the mother of two, and adds; “I changed my religion because I love my man. But not only that, I do not favour Muslim weddings because the matrimonial setting allows a man to have multiple wives. I do not like co-wives.”

Pauline Msunzu, unlike Mbowe, didn’t have it smooth in her relationship. Being a Christian dating a Muslim man, she wasn’t ready to convert her religion. Unfortunately as a result of having different religious affiliations, the couple decided to end their relationship.

“I thought of how my parents would react upon hearing that I converted  to another religion. I was raised in a Christian family and my parents are religion adherents. I was cautioned to be very careful in choosing a man to marry,” notes Pauline. After repeated discussions with her man, Pauline couldn’t bring herself to change her religion. As a result, their relationship came to the end. The now estranged couple had a child together while they were still dating.

Salma Magembe shares Pauline’s views. She too is of the opinion that changing religion for the sake of love is a tough ask. She further points out that it’s unjust for women to be the only ones expected to convert. “I dated a man who vehemently beseeched me to change my religion but I adamantly declined,” she said.

Hussein Ibrahim, a Dar es Salaam resident who is a devout Muslim says that according to his religion, converting to another religion regardless of the reason is highly condemned. “I cannot even as much as fall in love with a non-Muslim. Changing my religion is virtually impossible,” he speaks.

A sensitive topic

Sheikh Ramadhan Juma Mohamed from Temeke Municipality points to the sensitivity of religion. He says that people should respect each other’s religion. “If your faith and values are so important to you then you should only date someone who shares the same faith with you.”

If a couple wants to get married and later start a family, then the issue of religion plays a significant role in determining how the couple will progress in their relationship. There are those that do not mind whatever religion their partner is affiliated with, but then there are those who want their partners to be of the same religion as them. Rose Mgunda, 41, shares her sad personal experience. She is currently single, but was once married to a Muslim husband. She converted to his religion and also became Muslim. In a bid to impress her husband and make her marriage work she went further and learnt all religious Muslim practices. Unfortunately for her, her husband decided to marry another woman who was Muslim.

 “I put a lot of effort to understand and learn about my man’s religion. I erased a piece of my religious belief so that I can share my husband’s beliefs. What he did really hurt me,” Mgunda solemnly speaks.

Jimmy John, a member of Glory of Christ Church located in Ubungo, Dar es Salaam is a religious adherent who follows the strict teachings of the Bible. He references various Bible verses in an effort to justify his standing that no one should change their religion if it’s a prerequisite to forming a union. He states that as a Christian, following the teachings of the Bible is what will bless your marriage.

“By quoting the Bible, I don’t mean that one cannot marry someone with different religious affiliations and not live a happy life. But it would be easier and more convenient even for your children if the couple believes in one religion. Raising children in an interfaith marriage isn’t easy and it will only confuse them,” he states.

Sheik Maalim Omary, a Muslim devotee, completely rubbishes any thoughts of him ever changing religion for the sake of love. According to him, changing religion is a big sacrifice which shouldn’t be done to begin with. As someone who’s grown up learning everything about Islam, he believes that his religion shouldn’t be traded for anything else in the world.