Charting the course to true masculine power

Gandhi took Jesus' word seriously and strictly adhered to his fundamental teachings of love, nonviolence, and compassion. He lived his life according to Matthew 5-7 and returned to that handbook on nonviolence every morning and every evening. In his private letters, he wondered why some Christians didn't do the same.

Gandhi believed that Jesus had amazing moral teachings. He was right. If men adhere to the principles stipulated here, they'll make the best husbands ever. Below is a shift I believe men ought to make.

From overpowering to empowering: Being a man does not mean one has to overpower others. It doesn't mean extreme power, absolute power, or that you are the commander-in-chief in the house, where life is all about orders.

True masculine power is full-blooded power that strengthens the wife, family members, and other people, enhancing togetherness and autonomy. This power challenges the head and inspires the heart. Such power, whatever its intensity, does not abuse but protects people.

It brings out the very best in a man, backing him in taking needed stands without forgetting his heart. True masculine power is not out to prove anything but simply to support the living of a deeper life, a life of authenticity, care, passion, integrity, love, and wakefulness.

From humiliation to humility: The words 'humility' and 'humiliate' are derived from the same root, 'humus' meaning earth or ground. However, the two words mean something completely different.

To humiliate is to cause a painful loss of pride, self-respect, or dignity, unlike humility, which means a modest opinion of one's importance. True man's power means men need humility, and in every way, they should avoid humiliating their wives and family members.

From inequality and intersectionality to equality: Intersectionality is a concept that explains how different systems of inequality based on gender, race, ethnicity, disability, class, and other forms of discrimination "intersect" to produce distinct outcomes. As men, we should avoid gender superiority to enhance genuine love.

From aggressiveness to assertiveness: Being assertive means communicating with others directly and honestly without intentionally hurting anyone's feelings.

Direct communication can reduce conflict, build self-confidence, and enhance personal and work relationships. Assertiveness is a skill that anyone can learn. I'm embarking on a serious venture to learn this.

The biggest difference between aggressive and assertive communication is that assertiveness includes respect for yourself and the other party. In contrast, aggressive communication quickly disrespects and often insults the other party, leaving you feeling guilty or angry.

Lastly, the expectations placed on men regarding behaviour and achievements make men very depressed if they fail to meet them. But this shouldn't make us paranoid or aggressive. Humility is more beneficial.

It helps eradicate any negative impact. In today's generation, pride and overconfidence are more adorable, but we again shove off entitlement, authority, overconfidence, and selfishness.

Amani Kyala is a counsellor, writer, and teacher, 0626 512 144.