What a woman won't survive without

Yes, in a bit perplexing context, a Swedish educator, Anna-Britt Agnsäter, who once worked for Swedish Grocery Cooperative, designed the food pyramid. The pyramid was published for the first time in 1974 in the cooperative's magazine. She divided the pyramid into three levels.

Nevertheless, according to the new food guide pyramid which students use to create a food and activity plan for healthy eating, human beings have certain basic needs. We must have food, water, air, and shelter to survive. Let me take the cooperative advantage; women need the four relationship facets if they're to survive in their bonding world. This is how they're wired. They need:

Affection and love just like sunshine to plants: This is not an exaggeration. Just like plants need sunshine and water to survive, a woman needs affection, love, and attention to flourish and blossom. Without water and sunshine, a plant will die. Men can hide in work when deprived of love and attention, but when a woman misses affection and attention, she's shaken to the very roots of her personality and dignity.

Transparency just like breathing in oxygen: Transparency in a relationship means open and honest communication. It also means being proactive, sharing information with your partner by openly expressing your thoughts and feelings in a natural or crude manner, and being totally honest. When you're open and transparent with a woman, she will build trust and get to know you as a lover on a deeper level.

Conversation just like blood in the body: Connecting deeply in conversation allows a woman to attach to you as her partner on a deep and personal level; she feels, “I'm now understood and supported." Meaningful conversations are one of the best ways to build emotional intimacy because it allows you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner profoundly.

Shekels just like shelter: Do you have financial plans that depend on your spouse earning a certain amount or higher? Do you expect your spouse to work when you will not be working? All of these expectations need to be shared with your partner. It is no surprise that women often have an emotional need for financial support, even when they work or earn more than their husbands.

Today, women are far more independent than they ever have been. The actual need for a man is less than it ever has been. Many women earn more than their spouses. Even if that is the case, what are the expectations? Women tend to like a man that can provide, or at least participate financially.

Lastly, let’s burst the bubble as I finish. Marriage is beautiful, just as it is complicated. What I've shared adds to the essence of a long-lasting and happy relationship that will strengthen our marriages. Meet these needs, and your woman or wife will be your friend forever.

Amani Kyala is a counsellor, writer, and teacher, 0626 512 144