4 vehicles and 10 motorbikes ‘have been ARRESTED’ in Kyerwa District

Bongo’s huge and colourful broadsheet of August 27 ran a story on Page 1 entitled, ‘US hails census, counting halfway’, whereby in Para 2, the scribbler reports on observations made by a visiting American expert in regard to the-then ongoing census:

“He applauded the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) for the good preparation and conduct of the census EXERCISE.”

The rule of the thumb in journalistic communication is: when one word can do, don’t use two. It means, our colleague had no need to qualify “census” with “exercise”. It was enough to simply say:…the CENSUS.

The scribbler further purports to quote an NBS supremo: “Let me remind census officials on the ground that we shall HOLD the last installment of their payment if they fail to attain the agreed number of households.”

Hello; if you don’t release someone’s payment, that’s not holding it; rather, it’s an act of WITHHOLDING it.

On the same page, there’s another story headlined, ‘Minister: NEMC set to inspect shops, markets for plastic bags’.

In this one, our Dodoma-based colleague reports on what a minister said in regard to Government’s campaign aiming to rid Tanzania of unauthorised plastic bags:

“Addressing NEMC zonal managers…he called on local authorities to ensure the campaign is fully implemented, saying some traders ignore the June 2019 ban on plastic bags and slowly CREEPING THEM back into the market.”

Creep something back? Oh, no! You don’t “creep” something/someone; they creep on their own. Which is to say, “…traders ignore the June 2019 ban…and unauthorised plastic bags ARE SLOWLY CREEPING back into the market. Or, traders are slowly BRINGING BACK plastic bags…

And then, Bongo’s senior-most broadsheet of Saturday, September 3, had a Page 3 story entitled, ‘Former DIGP stresses justice for all’, in which the scribbler.’ In this one, aside his story, our colleague goes further to inform readers about our former High Commissioner to Zambia, Dr Abdulrahman Kaniki, who is currently the Director General of Centre for Foreign Studies, by writing the following:

“Upon completing his tenure (sic!) in Lusaka, Zambia, Ambassador Kaniki returned to Tanzania where he GRADUATED his PhD studies in Law at the University of Dar es Salaam…”

He graduated his studies in Law? Nope, we say “he undertook PhD studies in Law…” or, he graduated WITH a PhD in Law…”

The broadsheet had another story on Page 7 entitled, ‘Kyerwa authorities intercept 20 tonnes of smuggled coffee’. Now “quoting” a Kyerwa District Council official, the scribbler wrote the following:

“Several suspects, four vehicles and ten motorcycles have been ARRESTED and are helping (sic!) in the police investigations.”

Oh, Lord! Vehicles and motorbikes arrested? I assert that only human beings get arrested. Other creatures, as well as things such as vehicles, are SEIZED. Well, besides being “arrestable” human beings are also seized, if you like.

In the broadsheet’s back page, the leading sports story is entitled, ‘It’s a do or die for Stars today’, and therein scribbler writes:

“Taifa Stars face Uganda Cranes in a decisive return leg of African Nations Championship (CHAN) qualifiers at St Mary’s Stadium in Uganda today. It is a neck TO neck duel as the winner sails into the 2023 CHAN finals to be staged in Algeria…”

Neck to neck duel? Nope! The idiom, (and we aren’t allowed to tamper with idioms) is “neck AND neck.”

Finally, something from a story on Page 19 of September 3 edition of the tabloid closely associated with this columnist, headlined, ‘Lucky Dar resident wins Sh113.7m in M-Bet draw’. Reporting on what the lucky guy said about how he went about juggling things to win the jackpot, the scribbler wrote:

“He explained that the match that pitted Crystal Palace AND Brentford FC placed him in a corner because of the records of both teams.”

A-a! You don’t pit this team “and” that team. You pit this team AGAINST that team.

Ah! This treacherous language called English!