You’re a mass media communicator and should therefore avoid bombastic words

The journalist’s objective is to communicate to everybody out there. Now unless you’re writing for a specialists’ publication, your language must be simple. Yes, simple enough for an ordinary person—or as they say, the man on the street—to comprehend what you’re trying to say. More so if you’re penning “hard news”.

You betray your readers if you write in a manner that gives the impression you’re out to impress, endeavouring to be complex. And instead of delivering to them the intended message you end up confounding them!

You become unnecessarily complex when you use bombastic words. Why should you say, for instance, that “the Government has DISBURSED money for the construction of classrooms” instead of saying “the Government has released (or given out) money…? Or, why should you write, “My MP is the QUINTESSENCE of a good leader” instead of “My MP is a GOOD EXAMPLE of a good leader”.

And you become a bore when you indulge the use of clichés. Avoid them. What’s a cliché? It’s a word, phrase or opinion that’s overused, betraying lack of originality. We note, for instance, that these days, virtually everybody writing on somebody’s life or career will feel left out if he doesn’t use the word “journey”. Motherhood journey; professional journey; modeling journey, music journey….

There are a million ways of talking about your subject’s motherhood, profession, modelling and music without using the word “journey”, which is why we won’t bother to provide you with alternatives.

We also notice so many of our scribblers replacing the word “said” with “unveiled.” It’s not uncommon to come across a story in which someone has written, for instance: “The chief executive officer UNVEILED that his company will strive to manufacture products of higher quality.”

Again, the verb “share,” (in the place of e.g. said, told…) is also being notoriously used in ways that sound silly, if you ask us. We suspect this is a consequence of our people’s addiction to social media! We often come across this kind of sentences as we peruse our newspapers: “The Government will make sure no child of school-going misses a place in Class One next year,” the minister SHARED.” Or, “The mother of four SHARED that she had quite a challenge raising the children alone following the death of her husband.”

Let’s depart from generalities and look at specific stories, out of which we’ll unearth linguistic gems, starting with a story appearing on Page 3 of Bongo’s huge and colourful broadsheet (Friday, November 29 edition). It’s entitled ‘Dar MPs, residents mourn dedicated Ndugulile’ and therein the scribbler writes in her intro: “Members of Parliament (MPs) from Dar es Salaam Region and area residents have expressed PROFOUND sorrow over the passing on of Dr Faustine Ndugulile, the LATE Kigamboni MP, describing him as a dedicated and compassionate leader…”

We’ve cautioned colleagues about the folly of using adjectives to qualify other people’s sentiments—things that we can’t scientifically verify. That’s why, we aver, that the adjective “profound” should have been avoided. The sentence should simply read, in part: “…the PASSING on of Dr Faustine Ndugulile, the Kigamboni MP...”

For instance, when I die, like every one of us will—eventually—some scribbler will have erred if he wrote: “Media colleagues have mourned the passing on of THE LATE Citizen columnist Abdi Sultani.” It should be, “…passing on of Citizen columnist Abdi Sultani.”

And then, Page 10 of Bongo’s senior-most broadsheet of Saturday, November 3 has a wildlife story in which the scribbler writes in his intro: “After creation the Earth’s surface was covered by water and there was NO ANY living thing on it…”

Hello! We don’t say “no any,” we say “not any...” It means, the sentence should read, “After creation the Earth’s surface was ….and there was NOT ANY living thing on it…” Or, “…there WASN’T any living thing…”

Ah, this treacherous language called English!