All barmaids desert your favourite joint!

I should know, because I pop in here almost daily—even if it’s just to have my last beer for the day.

I check that out by saying hi and asking her: “I’m seeing you for the first time; so, when did you start working here?”

“It’s my second day,” she says.

“You’re welcome,” you say. It’s like you’re part of the staff here. It’s important to be polite with barmaids, since, who knows, they may be handy in times of need.

Like when you’ve taken your last drink and as you dip your hand into your pocket to pull out your wallet, you realise your senility has done you in again. You had left home without it!

It might be futile for you to try to negotiate with the akaunta, for she might happen not to like you much, what with the fact that you’ve never bought her a drink “like other men do.”

Your salvation would be to quietly negotiate with “your” barmaid, promising you’ll bring the money the next day—plus buying her a beer or two. Smart, isn’t it?

I’m digressing—somewhat. Now I’m at the counter, not just because it’s my favourite spot anytime, but also because this will be the place I’ll be assured of prompt service given the virtual absence of barmaids.

I ask Winnie what’s going on and, without batting an eyelid, she says: “I don’t know…maybe they’re on the way…most of them have this bad habit of reporting late.”

Customers are streaming in and I can read from their faces that they’re missing something.

Enter Henry, a pool player who also drinks. Upon noticing that something is amiss, he shouts at Winnie: “So these ones have also deserted your boss..? I’m sure the reason is the same!”

“Acha umbea!” Winnie shouts back, asking him if he wants pool tokens or a beer.

“Both,” he says and adds, “but seriously, where are your girls?”

Winnie hands over to Henry pool tokens and his beer without uttering a word, like she never heard his question.

The situation is the same the next day. Enquiries with my numerous sources reveal that it’s normal for this bar’s girls to abandon their employment after month-ends over unpaid salaries.

Henry whispered to me: “The proprietor is never keen on paying the poor girls’ salaries…when they pressure him, he becomes rude and dares them to leave if they can’t be patient.”

Three days ago, they all conspired to leave without handing in the “float cash” to Winnie.

The proprietor cannot report the incident to the police because what he owes them in salary arrears is several times higher than the day’s cash they vanished with.