Here comes Wa Muyanza’s New Year resolutions

We’re just into the third day of this brand new year.

Stepping into a new year isn’t such a big deal to some of us whose today is generally the same as our yesterday, if not worse.

But then, one needs to move in concord with the wave. So, I say, happy New Year, everybody, and please wish me the same if you care.

Year 2024 hasn’t been that bad a year for me on the “grocery” front, for not once did I miss my routine warm ones or a Kasichana, which I tone down with little amounts of water.

The few times I went without a drink were on those days when some doctor prescribed some pills, with orders that I don’t touch alcohol!

I had grudgingly agreed with my doctor, for I harbour the dream of living to be 100.

Oh, yeah, just like the amiable US ex-president Jimmy Carter, who joined his Maker last Saturday, having clocked a century on October 1 last year! So, this son of Wa Muyanza is saying, Me too. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Year 2025 is here, and I, like any other respectable boozer, need to make New Year drinking resolutions, among my other resolutions that are of no interest to readers of this column. Here we go…

First, I’ll carry on with my tradition of taking a maximum of three 330ml bottles at any particular drinking session.

That, unless some good fellow who believes he owes me a drink orders for me an extra one…or two;

And I’ll continue to avoid joining any table occupied by more than two “friends” because that could mean spending more than the price of three beers.

You all know that Wa Muyanza, being a typical Mwasu (wrongly referred to as Mpare), is frugal by nature (not stingy, please!).

The counter will remain my place of choice, a place where everybody buys his own drink, meaning I’ll not allow myself to get entangled with drinkers whose company doesn’t add value to my time at the bar.

Old tricks are the best, so when it becomes impossible to avoid a big drinking group, I’ll endeavour to become a good storyteller.

My stories (read lies) could be about your interviews with big CEOs, ministers, and even the President—the tough questions I posed with such VIPs for the big stories that appeared on the front page of my newspaper!

You’ll not have to worry because the kind of drinkers at the bars I usually patronise don’t even know what newspaper I slog for, and even if they know it, they never read it…nor do they read any other newspapers for that matter and

Finally, I’ll endeavour to increase the number of days I go without a drink, even when there’s some dosh in my wallet…Amen!

Once again, have a happy and prosperous 2025, dear reader.