Life review at 42: An adult-adult

Having just turned 42, I’ve fully embraced the reality of being an adult-adult. It’s a phase filled with responsibility: planning for retirement, raising teens, supporting ageing parents, and building a legacy worth remembering. This stage demands clarity, intentionality and grace. Middle age is not a crisis; it’s a checkpoint. It’s where you pause, look at your map, and wonder how on earth you ended up so far from what your 20-year-old self imagined. And that’s okay, because somewhere along the way, you gained wisdom, resilience, and the grace to laugh at yourself.

In December, I trapped a nerve—a humbling reminder of life’s adjustments in this phase. Gone are the days of bouncing out of bed at high speed; now, I sit up slowly, drop my legs to the floor, and rise gently. You know you’re middle-aged when you’re more excited about a new mattress than a new pair of shoes. Yet reaching here was forged by a rich body of experience, each decade shaping me in its own unique way.

My 20s taught me grit; my 30s taught me tenacity; my 40s are teaching me perspective.

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In my mid-20s, I became a mum and started Empower—two of the most profound milestones of my life. These experiences taught me resilience and purpose as I juggled family and building a business from scratch. My 20s were filled with boundless ambition—lessons learned through trial, error and occasional leaps of faith.

My 30s were a decade of transition. Empower evolved from sole leadership to a multi- partner firm, as I welcomed my two siblings as partners and refined its structure and focus. On a personal level, I faced the profound loss of my mother, a moment that deeply shook me but taught me to find my footing again. I also navigated divorce and single parenthood, embarking on a healing journey that culminated in marrying my soulmate at 38. These years redefined resilience and the beauty of new beginnings.

Now in my 40s, I find myself focused on growth and legacy. I’ve worked to blend my family, expand Empower into new markets, and celebrate 16 years of business. Watching my children actively navigate milestones like IGCSEs and Checkpoint exams has been tense but rewarding—a reminder of the growth these years demand. These years have also been about investments—financial and personal—and planning for the future. In just two years, I’ve visited 12 new countries, broadening my horizons and adding rich experiences to my life.

 Middle age has taught me the importance of balance—between work and rest, ambition and contentment, giving and receiving. I’ve always chosen what aligns with my purpose, and now I do so with even greater clarity and intention. Parenting teenagers is both challenging and rewarding. It’s about guiding without controlling and watching them grow into themselves. Navigating the evolving dynamics with my family as they age has been a meaningful journey—one that has enriched my gratitude and strengthened our connection.

For me, peace of mind is the ultimate measure of success. My legacy is rooted in living by three values: staying in the light—choosing positivity and integrity; feeding the family— nurturing loved ones and community; and service before self—ensuring my impact extends beyond personal gain.

So here’s to middle age: a time to recalibrate, laugh and live with intention. Whether you’re 22, 42, or 62, life’s richness is found in how you choose to show up every day. Middle age has a way of keeping you humble. You skip the after-party now but still give the dance floor your all at weddings. Your teens leave you in the dust on TikTok and try to call you 'bruh,' while you casually remind them you’re still cool. These quirks remind me that life is imperfectly beautiful.

So here’s to 42: a time to embrace responsibility, savour milestones, and plan for the future with intention. It’s not about counting the years; it’s about making the years count. This chapter is defined by growth, gratitude,and the clarity to live by my values. Middle age isn’t a crisis—it’s a canvas, and I’m painting it with care.

Miranda Naiman is the Founding Partner of Empower; delivering transformational consulting tailored for Africa’s potential. [email protected]