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Man up and marry her, independent women aren’t your enemy
What you need to know:
- We were raised in a culture where men are expected to provide and lead, while women are expected to support and follow.
Let’s talk facts: Many successful, independent women in Tanzania and beyond are marrying later or not at all.
And while society likes to point fingers at the women (“She’s too picky,” “She’s too focused on her career,” “She doesn’t know how to be submissive”), we rarely turn the spotlight on the men.
Nah. Let’s cut the noise. The real tea? Some of you (yes, you gents) are simply intimidated.
Yes, intimidated by a woman who owns land, drives her own car, and doesn’t flinch when the waiter brings the bill.
A woman who says “I’ve got it” and actually has it. And instead of saying “wow,” too many of you say “let me call her later” and never do.
Why? Because deep down, you’re worried you can’t impress her with your 1998 motivational quotes and a pair of borrowed sunglasses. (We see you.)
But here’s a question for my brothers: why does her strength threaten you?
She’s not looking to replace you, she’s looking to partner with you. She’s not after your wallet, because she’s got M-Pesa and a backup account.
What she wants is a man who won’t get jealous when she shines, or sulk when she’s praised, or vanish when she dares to dream bigger.
We were raised in a culture where men are expected to provide and lead, while women are expected to support and follow.
But the world is changing. Women are no longer waiting to be rescued, they’re rescuing themselves.
And instead of that being a threat, it should be a turn-on.
A woman who’s already built her foundation doesn’t need your wallet, she wants your partnership.
She won’t be with you because she has to; she’ll be with you because she chooses to. And isn’t that the real flex?
Now let’s address the irony; some of you claim to want a “hard-working woman,” but the moment she starts earning more than you, you start acting like her success is spiritual warfare.
Calm down. She just got promoted, she’s not plotting your downfall.
So instead of ghosting her because she makes six figures or owns a washing machine and a dryer, man up.
Clap when she wins. Offer support, not suspicion. Be the kind of man who’s secure enough to say, “Babe, you’re killing it,” not “You’re too independent for me.”
It’s time to man up. Level up emotionally. Build your confidence beyond your pay cheque.
Be proud to stand next to a woman who shines, not just one who hides behind your shadow.
To be clear, independence doesn’t cancel softness. She can own a business and still want forehead kisses. She can sign million-shilling deals and still want to cuddle during Netflix.
She just needs someone who doesn’t confuse her strength for arrogance.
So, my dear brothers, stop chasing women you can control and start appreciating women who can challenge, sharpen, and level you up.
Don’t let your ego block your blessings.
Your future wife might just be the boss lady you called “too much,” and now she’s booked, busy, and being flown out by someone who wasn’t scared to love her loudly.
She’s not too much...you’re just too scared.
