Of poor self-image and relationships
Growing up in the village, and owing to my father having lost his job in the civil service and missing a jail term by a whisker, so much was bound to happen to us kids in terms of our personal confidence. We had left a government house, and the Land Rover and other comforts that go with my dad’s perks having been taken away. Things picked up later, but a degree of damage had been done to my self-esteem that had to be reworked. For instance, there are manifestations of the above-mentioned harms.
When beautiful girls showed interest in me, as it did happen through high school and college, I felt unworthy of her love. One does not feel intelligent or handsome until she persists. You will note that so many would-be wife material. It takes time for one to stop exerting oneself. I was an "A" material but it took me a long time to realise that I do not have to prove anything to anyone.
There are men and women who are so hungry for compliments and are always in a state of intense jealousy, even when their men or women love them unconditionally. There are people who cannot bear to see their partners out of sight.
Badgering them for extra attention even though you spent the entire day together? Making an occasional call is not a bad idea, but bugging them on their phone is a bad idea. The maxim of a long-lasting relationship is that if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours- nothing more, nothing less.
Shun being opinionated and stoic – your thoughts are not rules of thumb.
More often than not, men are seen as the heads of family, and people have a very poor perception of their women. I learnt this later. For instance, this writer is 10 years older than his woman, more exposed, and perhaps more like a father figure. With time, I have come to learn that some of the most brilliant ideas come or came from my house. Being stoic and sticking to only one’s ideas leaves your partner out of the scheme of your work. Listen to each other. I may be well versed in the car model or the house design, while she is more versed in the living room or kitchen setup. There are many things to say about this but that is a story for another day. Nice weekend!
