Spouseship brings security, significance, and self-worth

Gorillas are social animals that live in groups. A gorilla group usually has a harem structure of one adult male, or silverback, living together with several adult females (three to six) and their offspring.

Relationship security means having complete confidence that your partner and family are there for you, and not just sometimes; it's daily sharing struggles and fears. We can learn this from the social structure of gorillas. The following are some of the lessons:

Security

Everyone wants to feel emotional safety with the person they've chosen to spend their life with. But security in a relationship doesn't just happen. It's something that both partners have to consciously work on cultivating, whether they've just started dating or have been together for years.

A healthy marriage is one in which both members of the couple feel safe. It is only when there is a foundation of safety that individuals as well as couples can grow and mature. With it comes the intimacy that is only possible when people feel secure enough to be vulnerable. Without it, any conflict threatens the entire relationship.

Some couples have not been able to establish and maintain safety in their relationships. Some were married for all the wrong reasons: to get out of their parents' home, for financial gain, or just because everyone else expected them to. Some were escaping verbal, physical, or emotional abuse.

We can emulate the silverback gorilla that has the task of leading and protecting the group. So, the silverback not only has to be very strong and intelligent to lead the group, but he must also have high social intelligence to keep the group together. Men need this to keep their families together.

Significance

Married people are both responsible for one another and responsible for their families, and both halves of that dynamic lead the married to live more responsible, fruitful, and satisfying lives. Marriage is altogether a transformative act, changing the way two people look at each other, at the future, and at their roles in society.

Gorillas take family very seriously, and their existence finds meaning in the family, and so should we. A family should give us a good degree in which we find some sense of significance. I find the fullest sense of significance in God, who is the originator and sustainer of family and marriage.

Self-worth

In a healthy relationship, people will experience a safe, loving, and supportive environment built on commitment, communication, and love. High self-worth in a relationship comes not only from a supportive partner and environment but from within as well.

In conclusion, the creator of family life wanted it to be a haven where we find true love, joy, trust, care, a degree of significance, and security. We can learn from gorillas and other animals; it's absolutely dangerous to be out of the systems and family structures.