The role of men in preventing gender-based violence

The man and the woman make the two sides of the Gender-Based Violence (GBV) coin. But why is it that the main target audience for ending GBV campaigns is the GBV survivors, the already violated females? Who is talking to the men? The potential perpetrators of GBV?

Many NGOs deal with rescuing GBV victims and helping survivors through the recovery process. Similarly, in GBV awareness and prevention campaigns, the main message is usually to encourage the public to report or talk to women who show signs of being abused, such as physical injury or other indicating evidence. But who is talking with the men who show signs of abusing women, before the situation gets out of hand as it usually does?

November 25 was the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. This year’s theme is fund, respond, prevent, and collect. This is a call for efforts across all levels, national to international, to fund initiatives that help survivors of GBV; respond to the needs of GBV survivors; prevent GBV by learning more about GBV and reporting signs of abuse; and collect data to aid decision making to end GBV. Even here, it can still be seen how the main focus is on survivors of GBV. However, there is value in shifting our gaze to the opposite side of the coin, the potential perpetrators.

We have seen some cases of GBV where the perpetrator is brought to court, and the best they can say is I don’t know how this happened. Of course, this can be the convenient thing to say, but what if it is true that the perpetrator cannot grasp how the situation snowballed out of control like that? What if they suffered mental distress that went far beyond their own control, and what they needed from the first day they laid a hand on a woman, was counselling and other mental health support?

This is not to say that all perpetrators of GBV can be rehabilitated to civilised people. Gender-based violence is a crime, and criminals have a place in prison. But what if society and GBV campaigns also appealed to the mental health of potential GBV perpetrators before they go to court, only to wonder, genuinely, “how did I kill my wife”?

The period between 25th November and 10th December 2020 marks sixteen days of activism against gender-based violence across the world; culminating on Human Rights Day, 10th December. This is a call for everyone of us to take an active role in the efforts to end GBV. This can be done at any level: family, the workplace, or our social networks. What are some actions one can take to begin with?

Self-education about gender-based violence

Participating in this campaign doesn’t necessarily mean public advocacy against GBV if one doesn’t want to. It can be by seeking to self-educate about GBV. What it is. Why it happens. And what is our role as individuals in preventing and reporting GBV.

Active citizenship

Another action to take to support the campaigns to end GBV is by becoming active and responsible members of society. Yes, you are not a GBV perpetrator, but what do you do about that friend who has been abusing his wife? Our role as active citizens is knowing the right channels to prevent more harm from happening out of incidents of GBV that could be prevented.

But reporting is not the only way. What is our role in the lives of the people close to us, such as friends? Do we choose to pay a deaf ear and a blind eye for the sake of maintaining a friendship, or are we bold enough to call a friend out, and have a courageous adult to adult discussion? The bottom line is that every effort, no matter how small, counts.

In summary, GBV is a many-headed snake, which needs to be hit from many angles for it to die. The long-standing barrier to ending gender-based violence is the silence that survivors opt in order to preserve their dignity and avoid stigma. As such, it is a high time the spotlight is shone on the men’s side, especially in relation to GBV prevention; because indeed, ‘kidole kimoja hakivunji chawa’.

____________________________________________________________________

Epiphania Kimaro writes about careers, personal growth, and issues affecting youth and women