Where I lost myself, I disappeared with you

Relationships are like a balance. One side takes, the other gives. However, when the balance tips, the relationship is no longer a shared journey between two people; it becomes a battle where the burden of one is thrown onto the shoulders of the other. You always wanted to take. Your feelings, your desires, and your needs were at the centre. And I was always the one who had to give. In the end, I grew tired. Perhaps the heaviest burden is to lose oneself for the sake of another.

Everything revolved around you. Every decision, every step, every word was to meet your needs. When one person centres themselves, the other is forced to abandon their own essence. But can two people truly exist in such a relationship? If one keeps giving and the other only takes, how can this ever be a mutual exchange?

My love for you led me away from myself. To devote one’s happiness to the presence of another is the ultimate spiritual sacrifice. But why did I constantly ignore my own needs? Was this sacrifice really love, or was I simply erasing myself out of the fear of losing you?

What I did for you created an emptiness inside me. Over time, those voids grew so vast that there was nothing left of me. When a person constantly sacrifices, they eventually lose themselves entirely. At this point, I realised that I should have loved not to lose myself but to find myself.

You only saw me as long as I was there to serve your needs. You consumed every feeling I had, every value I gave, yet you never saw the world inside me. To not understand the feelings of the person before you is to deny their very existence.

Your needs were endless; my boundaries were on the verge of disappearing. In a world filled with endless desires, the one who tries to protect their limits is constantly worn down. Time and again, I made you my priority, but what was left of me in the end? When the balance of giving and taking is broken in a relationship, it ceases to be a shared journey. Your behaviour left me drained. No matter how much love there is, one person cannot carry a relationship alone.

Perhaps the most challenging part was accepting all that had happened. The greatest awakening comes when a person returns to themselves. Now, I have no choice but to rebuild my own existence.

And at the end of this process, there’s only one question to ask:

After losing yourself entirely, how do you find who you are again?

With Love and Respect,

Burak Anaturk.

Burak Anaturk is a professional civil engineer. He focuses on sharing lessons from his life experiences, exploring diverse perspectives, and discussing personal development topics.
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