Why Prof Janabi must sustain his campaign
I’m at Forest Bar, enjoying my routine intake of the frothy liquid. Music volume is unusually low, which is why it’s possible for patrons to listen to one another.
The akaunta (call her Stella) is new and hence, drawing a lot of interest from the regular drinkers who are keen to play “good boys” even when they are crooked as crocodiles.
Many guys I know consider seduction a game or am I talking about flirting?
Yes, I am. Flirting is the word. Kubabaisha demu tu, we say in Kiswahili.
See, when a man is seducing for real, he’d be seriously aiming for a date with the targeted lass.
Now as you imbibe kinywaji, you can hear the tallish guy next to you chatting with (or is it cheating) Stella, telling her how much he loves her, even though (I know) he’s seeing her for the first time today.
Love at first sight, huh? This guy, call whose name I won’t reveal for reasons of safety since I’m aware he’s one of the few guys in our neighborhood who, once in a while, in a while, reads my crap.”
He orders his Sere Laiti in twos, which he polishes off even before I’m half through my Castro Laiti.
When he asks Stella what she’d like to take and she says a soda, he tells her that’s nonsense. “You’re not a schoolgirl…get something better, Stella darling.”
“Thanks,” Stella says as she moves to the shelves where she picks up a 375ml- bottle of Drostdy Hof, an imported wine that takes away a whopping 10k from a man’s wallet!
She asks Peter, “Is it okay if I take this?”
“Why not, dear?” he says, adding, “Whatever is mine is yours too, mpenzi.” As the akaunta busies herself dispensing drinks to wahudumu and your fellow viti virefu patrons, he turns to you and says, “Mzee, get one from, please.”
“No, thank you, I’ve already had enough and need to leave now,” you say.
“Three beers and you claim you’ve taken enough?” he says in a mocking way.
Adding, “Me, I think I drink too much…please advise on what I should do to check the bad habit.”
“Just tell yourself you shouldn’t drink too much…and swear to yourself you’ll reduce the number of bottles you swallow,” I say.
“I wonder how that'll be possible…me, once I start drinking, I can’t stop so long as I have money in my wallet,” he argues, apparently in earnest.
“I advise you to carry a limited amount of cash… that’ll put in check your beer intake and your generosity, for I’ve noticed you’re a very generous person,” I says.
“Well, a man’s wallet must carry as much money as possible all the time,” he says, adding, “I think I should just let things remain the way they are…alcohol has never killed any real man!”
All I say in reaction this assertion of his is, “mmh,” and say further to myself, “Professor Janabi must not relent in his health campaigns and may God give him strength.”
