Your job is not your life

This article, perhaps prompted by a recent less-than-ideal first date, serves as a valuable reminder: "We are not our jobs, and our jobs are not our lives."

It's important to recognise that your job title doesn't define who you are as a person, however it is common for our sense of self to be closely tied to our work.

This can have negative consequences. If you find yourself strongly identifying with your job and job title, it's not entirely your fault. Many people experience this, and it's a natural inclination given the societal emphasis on career success.

Our self-identity has become tightly interwoven with our occupation, after all “So what do you do for a living?” is one of the first questions we ask when meeting new people.

When our identity becomes synonymous with our job, we face a myriad of challenges.

Burnout, for instance, is a prevalent issue. Spending a significant portion of our time at work can erode our self-worth and esteem, especially when we tie them to external validations like performance reviews and achievements.

While praise can elevate our spirits, criticism and setbacks can deeply affect how we perceive ourselves, which in turn affects how we behave outside the workplace. Relying solely on external validations hampers the development of a stable sense of self.

Technology has further exacerbated this issue since the omnipresence of email and smartphones has created an "always-on" culture, where work permeates every aspect of our lives.

Consequently, the lines between professional and personal identity blur, as our worth is measured by our dedication and availability.

Companies too, play a role in shaping our identity as many workplace cultures often cultivate a sense of belonging by bestowing employees with distinctive titles and identities and offering team-building activities on weekends to enhance productivity.

These initiatives aren't inherently negative but they shouldn't substitute for genuine social interactions outside of work.

Work provides a sense of belonging, competence, purpose, and security, but it falls short in cultivating independent self-esteem. Your job fulfils only a fraction of our psychological and social needs.

So, how do you reclaim our identity from the clutches of your job? Firstly, you must acknowledge that self-identification with our work is common but not fixed. I want to encourage you in knowing that developing an independent sense of self-worth is a conscious choice that you can make at any time.

Set boundaries: Establishing clear distinctions between work and personal life is key. You’ve got to draw a line between your work and personal life to keep yourself sane and your relationships thriving. Don't buy into the idea that success means you have to be busy all the time. It's time to flip the script and put self-care and personal growth front and centre. Your worth extends beyond our job titles and accolades.

Embrace your multifaceted identity: There’s more to you than your job. Aim to invest in pursuits beyond the workplace. Give yourself the permission to open doors to a richer, more balanced existence. Liberating yourself from the constraints of your job empowers you to delve into our passions and cultivate genuine connections imbued with purpose and authenticity.

Seek internal validation: Seeking internal validation is another crucial strategy in reclaiming our identity from the grips of our jobs. Instead of relying on performance reviews or promotions to gauge our self-worth, you must cultivate a sense of validation from within. This involves recognising our inherent value, strengths, and unique qualities independent of our professional achievements.

By acknowledging the common yet changeable nature of self-identification with work, you free yourself from a one dimensional professional identity and embrace a more holistic and authentic self-identity.