I made it through 2025 by playing smart (ha!) in my social engagements that entailed parting with my limited cash.
A brand New Year is here with us. It hasn’t been easy cruising through 2025 to its logical end. It was a year in which I, like the proverbial African monkey, dodged many arrows. Nilikwepa mishale mingi!
I made it through 2025 by playing smart (ha!) in my social engagements that entailed parting with my limited cash.
Yeah, like politely rejecting to be lured via some fundraising card in which I’d be falsely called “mtu wetu wa karibu”, a card signed by a spokesperson of a family I hardly knew!
The son for whom a wedding ceremony was being organised would therein be fictionally referred to as “mwenetu”.
Eti, our son! I, Wa Muyanza, was suddenly a co-father of a son I’ve never heard about.
And I was expected to pay a kiwango cha chini of Sh70,000.
This amount is also called “Single”, meaning if you’re so stingy as to contribute a “mere” 70k, you’d not be allowed to attend the party with your wife!
However, a contribution of at least Sh100,000 was referred to as “Double”, meaning if you contributed at least 100k, you’d entitled to bring along your mama,you’d be watoto…or your “samsing”.
I’m a diehard traditionalist. My idea of a party to celebrate anything simply entails pulling together my own resources and, if need be, those of close family members.
I’d then proceed to invite some friends to join us to eat and drink at our expense, Mwana FA style.
In my own, conservative opinion, walking around with a begging bowl to raise money so that you stage a wedding ceremony befitting a UAE prince is exploitative, presumptuous and even demeaning. Ni kujifedhehesha!
During the year that ended last Wednesday, I ignored several kushirikishwa invitations without feeling remorseful. Why should I? One of my resolutions for 2026 is to maintain this stance.
If any one of you people out there wishes kunishirikisha, please just invite me to come and eat and drink at your expense. I love free things; oh yeah.
Of course, since I’m not as unsociable as I may sound, I’ll come with a gift for the bride and groom. And, maybe, a gift for you and your missus.
At the drinking front, I’ll keep my limit to three 330ml “laitis”. You see, as I navigated the 2025 year, I tried my best to suspend my drinking sessions after swallowing just three “Castros”. It was only “under pressure” that I took an extra one or two.
Like when some fellow insisted he owed me a beer because I’m a great journo, even when I could see he didn’t even know what media house I slog for!
I’ll continue to avoid any table occupied by more than two drinkers, friendly to me as they might be. Why, I’ve outgrown the smart habit of dashing to the washrooms to hide when it appears like my turn to “pour a round” has come.
I resolve that in 2026, I won’t smile back at or entertain, the barmaids at my favourite local, who call me Baby, Babu Handsome (what nonsense!) and even husband, luring me to offer them reasonable “keep change”.
It’ll be time they realised that I’m not as stupid as I may look.
Otherwise, dear reader, have a great, happy 2026 as you drink responsibly even when your wallet is once-in-a-while-bursting with cash.
