Man eateth where he worketh, so say the scriptures.
This son of Muyanza, who was born and bred on the hills of Mount Kamwala, eateth (and drinketh, ahem!) from where he sits facing the laptop, punishing his weather-beaten fingers.
The mhudumu who spends her day and part of her night has to eat at the bar where she provides service. Yeah, hulaga papo-hapo.
Her pay, we all know, isn’t anything to write home about.
Sources with insider’s information have revealed to you that few bar owners pay wahudumu anything exceeding Sh80k per month.
We’re, of course, referring to the kind of bars Wa Muyanza and his ilk patronise.
With that kind of pay, when she’s a mother of at least one child.
You can swear by your own mom’s name you’re yet to meet a mhudumu who, upon checking out, will inform you she’s not yet a mother.
Which is to say, she has to budget the 80k to cater for the needs of a child and the maid who looks after the little one when she’s at work.
Yes, those are the circumstances of a typical mhudumu.
It means, when she asks you to please allow her to have a beer on you, kindly say yes, unless you’re really hard up like Wa Muyanza is, normally.
And, after telling her yes, have a beer on me, don’t insist that she bring the drink, place it on your table and open it! When she says (read lies) she’ll drink it later, just agree.
Why, most likely, would she be, one, sparing the beer money for her fair back home and two, slowly collecting cash to top up her puny monthly pay of 80k?
It’s in a bar where the likes of this Rukia (aka Ruky) will eat, figuratively and literally.
That is why it doesn’t surprise you when you arrive at the Ruky workplace, where your intention is to watch a Premier League match involving Yanga and Pamba FC.
As we all know, any match featuring either Yanga or Simba is a huge affair.
The bar is full to the brim, and most of us are here to see Yanga retain their place at the top or lose and allow Archrival Simba to surpass them in the League standing, presently.
Meanwhile, Ruky must have her birthday bash, and this is the only venue available to her.
In any case, she has to be at work even as she celebrates the day she was born. Complete with a DJ and an MC.
She grabs the mic from the DJ and asks the patrons, "Tell me, is it possible to watch football on TV minus the sound?”
A section of the patrons responds loudly, “Yeah, it’s possible!”
She proceeds to ask if it’s possible to dance in celebration of her birthday without music.
An even larger section of the revellers, led by Ruky’s fellow wahudumu, responds with a very loud No!
The DJ pushes up the volume dial, and we’re treated to being horribly loud while following the beautiful game on TV with zero sound.
Now and then a reveller is invited to say a few nice words about “baby” Ruky, after which they gift her with a banknote or two.
Then comes the time to be fed the birthday cake, and, after a tiny piece of it has been shoved into your open mouth, you gift Ruky with something. Not bad...ahem!
After the first half, you escape to Family Bar, where you proceed to watch the Yanga-Pamba duel, complete with cheering or jeering from the pitch and the voices of TV commentators and analysts.
You later learn Ruky managed to raise close to 500k from her birthday well-wishers.
