A barber shop.
Many men remain fiercely loyal to their barbers, often travelling long distances just to get a haircut from someone they trust. But why is this level of commitment not always reflected in their romantic relationships?
Some argue that finding a barber who understands the symmetry of their head and consistently delivers the perfect cut is difficult. Once they find the right barber, they refuse to risk their appearance by going elsewhere. The trust built over time is crucial, as a barber's expertise shapes not just their hair but also their confidence.
Yusuf Suraj, a Ghanaian barber working in Kenya, has built a loyal clientele for more than 27 years. His longest-serving customer stayed loyal for 11 years, even refusing to get a haircut while travelling abroad. According to Suraj, skills and character are key to keeping customers.
“A good barber matches a customer’s expectations. It is not just about shaping the outline of the hair but also about how well you handle it. Personality and character also matter. Even with good skills, a barber with an unpleasant attitude may struggle to retain clients,” he says.
Elijah Githugo, 25, has been visiting the same barber for six years. His loyalty was solidified after his first visit when the barber not only gave him the perfect taper fade but also engaged him in meaningful conversation.
“I forgot I was getting a haircut because of how engaging the discussion was. When I walked home, people kept turning their heads to admire the cut. I knew I had found my barber,” he says.
Githugo believes loyalty to a barber is similar to loyalty in relationships. “Choosing a barber and choosing a partner requires commitment. When you find the right one, you do not compare them to others. A haircut is an art form; your barber understands your identity. Just like in relationships, the more they know you, the better they serve you.”
The complexity of romantic loyalty
However, loyalty in relationships is more complicated. George Njuguna, 33, believes men approach barbershop loyalty differently from romantic commitment. He argues that men often separate emotional and physical connections when they cheat.
“When men cheat, it is mostly physical rather than emotional. It is a quick fix, not an emotional bond such as what they share with their barbers. Unlike relationships, cheating on your barber is risky because a bad haircut can ruin your confidence for weeks,” he explains.
Njuguna also emphasises the importance of trust. “Barbers have a unique understanding of your hair and head shape. They develop techniques that work for you, so switching to someone new is a gamble. Relationships, on the other hand, involve emotions and different dynamics that make loyalty more complex.”
The psychology behind male loyalty
The psychology behind this paradox is rooted in consistency and predictability. A good barber provides the same excellent service every visit, reinforcing trust and dependence. Relationships, however, come with unpredictability. Romantic partners change, evolve, and bring emotional complexity that barbers do not.
Additionally, men often view barbers as service providers rather than emotional partners. A barber meets an immediate need; maintaining appearance, without demanding emotional labour. In contrast, relationships require communication, emotional intelligence, and problem-solving, making loyalty harder to sustain.
Why men should apply barber loyalty to relationships
Men who display unwavering loyalty to their barbers should reflect on how this level of commitment can benefit their relationships. Trust, communication, and consistency are the foundation of both good grooming and strong partnerships. Here are three key takeaways:
Trust and communication: Just as a man trusts his barber to perfect his haircut, he should trust his partner with his emotions and vulnerabilities.
Consistency matters: A great barber delivers quality every visit, and the same principle applies to relationships; consistent effort strengthens bonds.
Emotional investment: While a barber offers a transactional service, relationships thrive on emotional connection. Being present and engaged is crucial in sustaining romantic loyalty.
Men already understand commitment in one aspect of life. The challenge is transferring this mindset to their relationships.
HOW TO BUILD LOYALTY IN RELATIONSHIPS
There are practical ways to build and maintain loyalty:
•Communication: Just as you explain what you want to your barber, be clear with your partner about your needs and expectations.
•Be consistent: Show up, put in the effort, and ensure your partner feels valued every day.
•Appreciate and affirm: A barber earns loyalty through skill and consistency; in relationships, expressing appreciation and affirmation strengthens emotional bonds.
•Resolve conflicts maturely: A barber fixes a bad cut without blame; similarly, address relationship issues calmly and constructively.
•Make time: If you can prioritise a haircut, prioritise quality time with your partner.
This story was originally published by nation.africa
