‘Hafsatu Bebi’ by Fatima Bala: The world carries on, and so should you

Memories shape our identity, decisions, and, perhaps most importantly, our perception of reality. But how much can we trust our memories? Can we rely on them as absolute truth? Research from the University of Birmingham shows that our memories are often distorted by language, suggestive information, and the brain’s tendency to fill in gaps with generalised knowledge. While we may feel confident in what we remember, this confidence does not always reflect accuracy.

In her book Hafsatu Bebi, Fatma Bala explores how memories distort our perception of events, emotions, and reality. She argues that, in many cases, the brain alters painful or traumatic memories, particularly those an individual seeks to dissociate from.

Told from multiple perspectives, Hafsat Bebi weaves two love stories set in different periods—the past and the present. In the 1990s, we follow Ibrahim and Zuwaira, parents to four children, including their eldest, Hafsat Bebi. In the present day, Hafsat's story unfolds as she navigates a relationship with Sadiq. Yet, the past and present intertwine in ways neither could have imagined.

Zuwaira and Ibrahim met while staying with relatives in the same compound. After losing her family in an accident, Zuwaira, a young and ambitious Muslim girl, moves in with her uncle and aunt, only to be treated as a maid. Despite her struggles, she dreams of returning to school. When her uncle offers to pay her fees, her aunt refuses, insisting that her future husband should take on that responsibility.

At 17, Zuwaira is married off to a wealthy man to become his fourth wife, weeks after his fourth wife died from childbirth. Her life turns upside down when she starts her new married life. Being too young to understand how polygamy works, she finds herself in the world of black charms, competition, and an angry, violent husband who cares for nothing other than his reputation.

“I knew nothing about divorce; I did not even know that a Muslim woman had rights over her husband or that maltreatment was grounds for her to initiate separation.”

Ibrahim and Zuwaira reconnect after she escapes her abusive marriage. To keep her safe, Ibrahim marries her, and they leave town to start anew, away from her ex-husband. Ibrahim’s love and understanding help Zuwaira heal and trust that she is not as unlucky as everyone has told her.

In 2021, Hafsatu and Sadiq became friends after ignoring each other for a year. Their friendship turns unexpectedly on the day Hafsatu catches her then boyfriend, Bashir, cheating on her. Bala skillfully unpacks the emotional weight of betrayal, showing how victims often blame themselves while the ones who hurt them shift responsibility elsewhere.

“And there I was, playing the role of the naive girlfriend who claimed to cheat in public. I can’t believe I thought he was really busy working. All those times, all those ignored calls…I actually believed him.”

After being cheated on, Hafsatu questions everything her current partner does. I have seen it before. It is happening again. “I can’t shake off this foreboding sense of deja vu, the unreachable number, the unreplied texts. It feels familiar. Is this Bashir all over again?” She wonders as she struggles to reach Sadiq.

But with the right partner, you slowly build trust by being vulnerable and open with each other. We can truly be seen and loved for who we are in our vulnerabilities. “We sit in silence, comfortable in the shared knowledge that we have opened the doors to complete honesty in our relationship.”

Sadiq, on the other hand, carries his own wounds. Coming from an abusive household, he has spent his life trying to be the opposite of his father—calm, compassionate, and in control of his emotions. However, unresolved pain and trauma have a way of resurfacing, no matter how deeply it is hidden.

“Memories are a prison one cannot escape from. Sometimes, to protect itself from unravelling, the mind would try to bury traumatic experiences in a part of the brain that gets forgotten over time, almost like it never happened. Except sometimes, subsequent trauma unearths the buried memories.”

Beyond these love stories, this book is about identity—about knowing who we are and where we come from. Hafsatu uncovers a secret her parents have kept from her for years, which changes her perception of life and reality.

Bala weaves an intricate story where every detail matters, and she does so beautifully. Her characters feel real, each carrying the story forward in a way that keeps you hooked. By the end, you’re left with a quiet reassurance—no matter what you're going through, life still has more to offer. The road may be long and painful, but there’s always hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.

Jane Shussa is passionate about books, coffee, nature, and travel. She serves as a Senior Digital Communications Officer for Twaweza East Africa.