Is it really true that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder?

Beauty is a complex term that has intrigued the minds of people for centuries. Beauty has in fact been a topic of philosophical interest since the ages of philosophers like Plato and Aristotle. But what is beauty, and is it important at all?

The meaning of beauty is something that has been debated for ages without a clear consensus to date, with the key issue being whether beauty is subjective—located ‘in the eye of the beholder’—or whether it is objective, existing out there, readily observed by all people the same way.

Beauty can describe objects, such as art and the environment, but also and more contentiously, people, particularly women. Women have been closely associated with beauty and this has been a double-edged sword, leading to a myriad of issues from mental health, unhealthy relationships, and shattered self-esteems. I recently asked several women whether ‘looking beautiful’ was necessary. I received many responses, but the majority said that ‘it depends’. Some think that the necessity in looking beautiful depends for example, on occasions – like looking beautiful at an event. Others said they needed to ‘look beautiful’ to break a pattern – a pattern of looking like would be described as shabby, or ugly, or flat, or uncared for, that results from being too busy with other important matters in life.

Clearly, there is a balance between the effort made to looking beautiful and to attending other obligations such as career, business and family. But again, there is the issue of who ultimately judges whether someone appearance is beautiful.

This is where the popular phrase ‘beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’ is rooted. That beauty is fundamentally determined by who is ‘looking at’ that object. On the other hand, the objective definitions of beauty argue that for as long as many people can have a common interpretation of something they see as ‘beautiful’ or ‘ugly’, then there should be some objective measure of beauty that lies in the properties of that object, the way an economy can be objectively measured as good or bad – but both perceptions are problematic as they lack the judgement of the ‘object’ being assessed.

Of course, a piece of art, or a rose flower, cannot decide for itself whether it is beautiful. And this seems to be part of the problem why women, often ‘objectified’ as beautiful, tend to chase certain ideals of beauty, failing to notice that beauty is by large a moving target. However, in this delusional quest for beauty, a first and foremost question to ask is what is the self ‘sense’ or ‘definition’ of beauty, before considering those of beholders. Another key question to ponder is who is the beholder and why do they matter?

At the bottom line however, everything and everyone are beautiful in their own unique ways, and this should be the anchor that guides any quest for beauty. It is the feeling aroused, and the sense of self developed in beauty. And it does not end there, the feelings that one wants to arouse or the sense of self one wants to develop must be questioned on their foundation – are these desires grounded in reality or delusional fantasies motivated by issues of vanity as peer pressure and following what social media says?

All in all, there are certain ways women can elevate their sense of beauty, and here I mean that inner sense and feeling of beauty, rather than outer stimuli such as peer pressure or the need to be desired by ‘beholders’. This inner feeling is important because it affects self-esteem, which affects other important areas such as career, business, relationships, and family. These include getting enough sleep, deliberate prioritization of the ‘self’ to rejuvenate from stretch activities, physical exercise, eating well, and developing a new skill or hobby.

As such, beauty should be anchored on the self-perception and feeling of it, and can be developed in realistically grounded, everyday acts to enhance self-esteem and wellbeing. Perhaps worth pondering is “whether things are beautiful because they give delight, or whether they give delight because they are beautiful.”

Ms. Kimaro writes about careers, leadership, personal development, and issues affecting youth and women