Lost in limbo: Trapped between holding on and letting go

Some people see life in black and white. They either love or forget, stay or leave. But for others, everything is trapped in an endless shade of grey. They can neither fully walk away nor find the strength to stay. The heart pulls in one direction, the mind in another. This is the story of someone stuck in limbo—belonging nowhere, unable to let go of the past, yet too afraid to embrace the future.

Being in limbo feels like being lost within yourself. Memories flash before your eyes, each one trying to pull you toward a different place, but you can’t choose. You take a step forward and feel as if you’re falling into the void; you turn back and realise the past is no longer yours to return to. So you remain stuck, frozen in place, a soul that does not move but quietly decays.

Trying to leave behind someone you once loved is also leaving behind a part of yourself. Memories cling to your mind, voices echo in your ears, old words replay endlessly. “Maybe one day things will be okay again,” you whisper to yourself, but deep down, you know it’s just an illusion. Even if they came back, nothing would ever be the same. You wouldn’t be the same. And yet, you still wait.

Limbo is where a person fights their deepest battle within. Is it harder to stay or to find the courage to walk away? The uncertainty of love—whether it has turned into a habit or if it still holds meaning—slowly drains you. Time moves forward, but you remain frozen. Nights stretch long because even in sleep, your mind does not rest. You dream of them, but when you wake, your hands grasp at nothing but emptiness.

The past sometimes feels like a warm embrace, pulling you in and tempting you to return. You think about sending a message, hearing their voice just one more time. But then you hesitate. What would you even say? Would anything change? Do they even want to hear from you? These questions haunt you as you stare at your phone, typing words only to delete them again, over and over.

Being in limbo is a loneliness that no one else can understand. The people around you say, “Just move on.” They offer advice, tell you to stop chasing the past. But they don’t realise—letting go isn’t a decision; it’s a process. You cannot simply put away memories like an old suitcase and continue as if nothing happened. Some memories, some feelings, are carved so deeply into your soul that even if you want to let them go, they refuse to let go of you.

And so, you blame yourself. “Maybe if I had been different, if I had loved less, if I had fought harder, if I had let go sooner…” But then you realise—the problem wasn’t how much you gave or didn’t give. The real heartbreak is knowing that no matter how much you loved, it still wasn’t enough to make them stay. And accepting that is one of the hardest things to do.

Limbo is a cycle of hope and despair. Some days, you convince yourself, “Maybe one day it will all make sense.” Other days, you understand that hope is the very thing keeping you trapped. Because sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go of them—it’s letting go of the version of yourself that still believes they might come back.

The days all begin to look the same. You wake up unwillingly, because at least in your dreams, things are still the way they used to be. You change your playlist, trying to avoid songs that cut too deep. But no matter what you do, the memories follow.

Being in limbo feels like standing on a bridge, unable to cross to either side. You don’t have the strength to turn back or the courage to move forward. The past is painful, but the future is terrifying. And humans fear the unknown more than anything. So you stay on the bridge, unable to say you love them, unable to say you’ve let them go.

And then one day, you realise that the greatest burden of limbo is yourself. Accepting that nothing will change, that no answer will come, that no door will reopen may be the first step toward freedom. But even that acceptance takes time. Because even when something hurts, we struggle to let go of what once made us feel alive.

Maybe one day, the weight of this will lessen. Maybe one morning you will wake up and the ache in your chest won’t be there. Maybe you will hear a song and not feel your eyes fill with tears; maybe you will see their picture and not feel your heart sink. Maybe when that day comes, you will finally be ready to move forward.

But not today.
Today, I am still in limbo.
Not ready to forget, yet no longer able to love.

With Love and Respect,

Burak Anaturk.

Burak Anaturk is a professional civil engineer. He focuses on sharing lessons from his life experiences, exploring diverse perspectives, and discussing personal development topics.
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