When the sponger outshines sponsor

At the bar, you’re free to act important—Mr Big Man. That, even when, like this son from the slopes of Mount Kamwala, you’re just a simple, struggling dei-waka, a mere hustler, from hand-to-mouth survivor. Mbangaizaji.

Now there’s this fellow at our neighbourhood drinking hub who is a struggling hustler per se, if we’re to go by the number of times he’s noticed gloomily drinking a Pepsi instead of his usual cold Castro Laiti, while watching his favourite team, Yanga, play against whoever. Whenever he was okay, you’ve noted, he would, like Wa Muyanza, take no more than three beers.

The guy (call him Sele), is in very high spirits today, dominating the conversation at his table of five. And his voice is much higher than that of any other drinker at his table. The coolest fellow in his crowd, who you later learn is the sponsor who’s encouraging everybody to drink to their fill, is doing more listening than talking. Even when it comes to giving an answer to what someone at his table has asked, he gives a very brief reply.

Being a typical scribe, a nosey chap with a keen eye on everything that goes on around, I can’t fail to notice that today Sele is drinking much faster than he normally does. The akaunta whispers to me Sele is on his seventh beer now, while none of his tablemates has taken more than four. He has actually irked the akaunta because he keeps coming to her and asking: “Kwani, how big is our bill now?”

Which is rather strange! Yeah, because the sponsor—the guy at whose hands the bill will land—is least concerned. All he does is simply urge his friends—including a youngish lady who’s having Savanna, to drink on.

At one stage, Sele walks to the counter and, speaking boisterously to the akaunta, he says: “Now, you woman; you know the guy who’s buying us drinks today is my younger bro kabisa…I hope you’re not cooking things up to give him a bill that’s bigger than what we’ll have taken!”

“You know I can’t do that Sele…why are you so worried?” says the akaunta.

“Can I have a look at the bill?” says Sele.

“Give me a bit of time…It’ll be ready,” says the akaunta calmly.

A few minutes later, the akaunta walks to Sele and Cos’ table, and Sele grabs the piece of paper in her hands bearing the table’s bill. He looks at it, his mouth wide open. Then he barks: “No way! Our bill can’t be this huge…a whole one twenty thou? ...Impossible…this is daylight robbery!”

The akaunta snaps the bill from Sele’s hand and gives it to the sponsor who looks at it casually and gives it back to her and says: “This bill looks okay to me…please add us more drinks…and you can also have two beers on my bill.”

Talk of misguided, big-mouthed joy-riders. Spongers!