The book speaks to a need human beings carry: to love, to be desired, and to be understood. But even when one has these, there is still that little voice: “Do they really love me? Will they stay?” It is human nature to be haunted by uncertainty, and life itself is uncertain.
You read a book that makes you pause mid-scene. It calls you out. It makes you question life and the beliefs you hold. By the time you reach the last page, you are so deeply moved that you do not quite know what to do with your own life. This is how I felt while reading Normal People by Sally Rooney.
The book speaks to a need human beings carry: to love, to be desired, and to be understood. But even when one has these, there is still that little voice: "Do they really love me? Will they stay?" It is human nature to be haunted by uncertainty, and life itself is uncertain.
This is a story of two friends, Marianne and Connell. They both go to the same school. They understand each other better than anyone ever could, even though they are from different social classes. Connel's mother, Lorraine, works for Marriane's mother as a housekeeper.
Marianne is a smart, anxious, and socially isolated girl who lives with her abusive mother and brother. Though she comes from an upper-class background, she moves through life feeling lonely and out of place, both at school and in society. On the surface, she appears unconcerned with what others think, but beneath that, her self-esteem is almost nonexistent. At times, her life feels as if it belongs to someone else.
As she thought, “Marianne had the sense that her real life was happening somewhere very far away, happening without her, and she didn’t know if she would ever find out where it was and become part of it.”
Connell, from the working class, appears confident and is liked by everyone at school, partly because he is a football star raised by a loving single mother. Yet he struggles with his sense of self. Wanting to be seen as a “good guy,” he seeks Marianne’s approval because he believes she pushes him to become better than he thinks he can be.
Their “friendship” is full of misunderstandings and miscommunication. At times, you want to crawl into the book and shake both of them into their senses because it becomes too much to bear. But perhaps that is the point: Many couples move through life with little self-awareness. They assume a relationship is failing because they have nothing in common or because there is no love left. Marianne and Connell move through life with this dynamic.
A betrayal occurs when society's acceptance outweighs what they feel for each other and the depth of their friendship. Connell betrays Marianne at a point when she needed him to be on her side more than ever. However, being young sometimes prompts you to worry about your image and others' feelings. This betrayal creates a lasting rift in their friendship.
Tables do turn. After high school, they both went to Trinity College. Here, Marianne is a popular girl loved and envied by everyone. Now her own social class embraces her, and she feels right at home. Perhaps this is where her life was always meant to unfold, as she had imagined in high school, when no one wanted to be close to her. Meanwhile, Connell now feels out of place. Classism is more pronounced in Dublin than in their rural home.
They have not seen each other since that betrayal, but they can never succeed in staying apart. They cross paths again at a party one night when Marianne’s then-boyfriend invited him. They seem to pick up from where they left off, even though there is a bit of awkwardness from what happened.
It becomes clear that Connell has a hold over Marianne. She would do almost anything to keep him loving her. Which is the same thing with him; he would do anything to keep her loving him. It is so depressing that neither of them can communicate this to the other. Depression hit Connell so hard that he contemplated taking his own life, but one thing was clear to him: “He sincerely wanted to die, but he had never sincerely wanted Marianne to forget about him.”
If nothing else, Normal People will leave you thinking about what it means to be misunderstood, what it means to love and to be loved intensely. And what it feels like to confront hopelessness. It is so raw that it pushes you to examine your own desires. The dialogue makes you feel like you are talking to a friend and to yourself at the same time. It leaves you sad and disorganised, especially if you recognise parts of your own life in the characters.
Jane Shussa is a digital communication specialist with a love for books, coffee, nature, and travel. She can be reached at [email protected].
