‘Odyness to Madness’ by Sonnie Ibadah: Ending what we started

"So be careful with the company you keep. Not all who cry with you feel your pain. Theirs might be tears of joy," warns Sonnie Ibadah in Dear Heart, a poem from her book Odyness to Madness—a powerful collection of poetry and prose.

This book is an emotionally raw exploration of love, mental health struggles, trauma, heartbreak, and healing. Through vivid poetry and prose, Ibadah shares her experiences with honesty and rawness, inviting readers to reflect on these themes in their own lives.

In Dear African Parents, she boldly examines the unspoken realities of African family dynamics—those seemingly small actions and words that, over time, leave lasting imprints. We often dismiss them, asking, "What harm could they cause?" But Ibadah reminds us that the things we overlook daily can have the most significant impact.

For instance, she examines the differences between how girls and boys are raised in many African households. The disparities in what they are taught shape adults who either evade accountability or tie their self-worth to marriage.

She writes, “Is this what you’ll do in your husband’s house?” —a phrase often framed as guidance but one that ultimately limits a young girl’s aspirations for independence and self-improvement. She continues, “saying ‘boys will be boys’ may sound harmless, but it can create narcissistic/privileged men who fail to take responsibility for their mistakes.”

In the same poem, Ibadah speaks about the harsh realities of child abuse in our homes. We tend to believe that those who sexually abuse our children are strangers lurking in the streets. She challenges this misconception, writing, “Rapists are rarely creepy, hooded strangers hiding in the dark. They are sometimes relatives or family friends you entrust your children to.”

Research supports this unsettling truth. According to the Children’s Assessment Center, family structure is one of the most significant risk factors for child sexual abuse. Children who live with both biological parents in a married household face the lowest risk, while the likelihood of abuse increases in households with stepparents or single parents.

For generations, society has dictated who women should be and how they should behave. But when women conform too much to these expectations, the same society steps in to correct them. They are told to be quiet but not too quiet, successful but not so successful that they intimidate men, and ambitious but not too ambitious.

In the poem, People Like Us, the author explores how these conflicting demands shape women's identities. Constant criticism forces them to change so often that they eventually no longer recognise themselves. They become versions of who they think they should be, drowning out their true selves beneath society’s relentless noise.

"I never knew me, not until I looked in the mirror and your observation echoed in my mind…" she writes. “Beautiful, but…” “…Pretty, if only…” “…Attractive, without…” These words reveal the deep confusion that arises when a woman is repeatedly told she is never quite enough as she is.

Yet, despite this, the poem progresses on a powerful note of reclamation. "I am one. I am many. I am plenty. I am a mother. I am Aunty. If 'she’ story is still in the making, then trust, the world is mine for the taking.”

Mental health is another theme the author highlights in her book. She examines the world of social media, where we are continuously exposed to curated versions of people’s lives—lives that, in most cases, do not exist beyond the screen. However, perception is everything on social media, or the Emerald City, as the author calls it. We find ourselves trapped in comparison cycles, breeding self-hatred along the way. “How dare she live the life I dream of?” we think. “It should have been me.”

In one poem, the author writes:

"They think I’m one of them! They think I’m losing my sanity!”
"Oh, darling, don’t they know you’ve never had it?"
"But I don’t belong here!" she cried.
"Well, sweetheart, neither does your anger and pride. But here you both are, trapped in these halls of a past you can never change. Nursing scars from mistakes you can never mend. So, tell me, when does it all end?"

The author’s writing is vivid throughout this collection, skillfully employing imagery, similes, and metaphors. Readers will especially appreciate this in poems like Yours and Bring Flowers to My Grave, among others.

Odyness to Madness is a beautifully written collection of poetry and prose inspired by the author’s real-life experiences. The author masterfully weaves the book’s themes with direct yet deeply evocative language. Some poems are painfully emotional and will resonate with readers, especially those navigating healing or searching for their true selves.

Jane Shussa is passionate about books, coffee, nature, and travel. She serves as a Senior Digital Communications Officer for Twaweza East Africa.