Beyond marriage, motherhood: What defines a woman’s success today?

Dar es Salaam. For decades, society has dictated what success should look like for women.

However, modern perspectives are increasingly challenging these traditional norms, allowing women to carve their paths based on personal aspirations and achievements.

Today, success can encompass various aspects, such as career accomplishments, educational advancements, or even contributions to the community, reflecting a more inclusive understanding of what it means to thrive as a woman.

Traditionally, it has been tied to marriage, motherhood, and maintaining a home. But as the world evolves, so does the definition of success.

More women are now excelling in corporate leadership, entrepreneurship, politics, and various professional fields.

Yet, despite these strides, women still face cultural biases and structural barriers that shape how their success is perceived.

In today’s world, success for a woman is no longer a one-size-fits-all concept. It means different things to different people, and for many, it is about finding purpose beyond societal expectations.

Breaking away from traditional definitions

Speaking yesterday, during The Citizen’s X space, the Head of Marketing at CRDB Bank, Joseline Kamuhanda, said success is about taking control of one’s journey, regardless of what society thinks. She said that she has navigated the corporate world with resilience yet has often encountered limiting stereotypes.

"There’s an assumption that if you are successful in your career, you must have sacrificed something—either marriage or children. But success is personal. It’s not about meeting societal expectations; it’s about defining your path and thriving in it," she says.

She urges young women to stop seeking validation from society and instead focus on their own aspirations.

"Support each other’s journey. It’s not a competition. We need to create enough space where all women can rise together," she says.

Economic empowerment as a measure of success

For many women, financial independence plays a crucial role in defining success.

The executive director of the Africa Transformation Initiative, Wisdom Mande, sees women's empowerment as directly linked to economic progress.

"When women thrive, economies thrive. Success is not just a personal victory; it has a ripple effect on entire communities. A financially empowered woman can support her family, invest in her business, and uplift others," she says.

Despite this, she acknowledges that opportunities are still not equally accessible to all women.

"Only a select few can access the mentorship and resources that enable success. We need to ensure that empowerment reaches women from all backgrounds, not just those in privileged spaces," she says.

She believes one way to bridge the gap is through mentorship and skill development.

"We must teach women financial literacy, leadership skills, and how to advocate for themselves. That’s how we create a generation of women who define success on their terms," she says.

Shattering the glass ceiling

Even as more women rise to leadership positions, the battle against workplace bias continues.

The founder of Novus Law and Advisory Group, April Ernest, knows this struggle well. As a woman in the legal industry, she has had to fight for the same recognition and opportunities that come more easily to her male counterparts.

"We celebrate women for shattering the glass ceiling, but the truth is, that ceiling shouldn’t exist in the first place," she argues.

She highlights the need for legal protections and workplace policies that support women’s career growth.

"We need gender-inclusive hiring practices, better maternity leave policies, and mental health support systems in workplaces. Women shouldn’t have to choose between a career and a family. Success should mean having the freedom to do both if that’s what you want,” she shares.

She also notes the importance of persistence: "Success is about being a student of life—constantly learning, evolving, and refusing to accept limitations."

The mental health factor

Beyond external achievements, true success also involves inner well-being.

For her part, a consulting clinical psychologist, Dr Sifa Hyera, stresses that mental health plays a vital role in determining how women experience success.

"Many women burn out trying to do it all—being career-driven, maintaining relationships, and meeting societal expectations. But what’s the point of success if it comes at the cost of your mental well-being?" she asks.

She notes that stress, anxiety, and burnout are common among ambitious women, especially those balancing multiple responsibilities. The warning signs include fatigue, sleep disturbances, and emotional exhaustion.

"Women need to learn how to set boundaries," she advises.

She continues: "Success should not be about overextending yourself to please others. It should be about thriving in a way that sustains both your personal and professional life."

She encourages women to seek therapy and mentorship as tools for personal development.

"Your brain is your most important asset in the journey to success. Take care of it," she asserts.

Women supporting women

While gender biases remain a challenge, another obstacle comes from within—women not supporting each other in professional spaces.

Ms Joseline has witnessed this first-hand. "Women sometimes see each other as competitors instead of allies. We need to break that mentality," she says.

On top of that, Ms Wisdom believes that fostering emotional intelligence through mentorship programmes can help address this issue.

"We need to teach women how to collaborate rather than compete. There is enough space for all of us to succeed,” she notes.

Dr Sifa adds that workplaces should encourage open conversations about mental health and leadership dynamics.

"If we create supportive environments where women feel safe to grow, we will see a shift in how success is perceived and achieved," she explains.

Redefining success beyond traditional milestones

One of the most controversial aspects of women’s success is whether marriage and motherhood should still be considered its defining markers.

During a discussion, an audience member claimed that a woman’s ultimate success is in marriage and childbirth. This statement sparked a strong response from the panellists.

"That may be your definition of success, but it should not be imposed on every woman," April Ernest responded. "Success should be about choice, not obligation," she added.

Ms Joseline further emphasised that marriage and motherhood are blessings, not measures of success.

"We must differentiate between blessings and achievements. Being a wife or mother is beautiful, but success is about personal fulfilment, hard work, and persistence," she shares.

They noted that this shift in thinking is crucial in breaking long-held stereotypes. That women should be free to define success in ways that align with their personal goals, whether that includes a family, a career, or both. This broader perspective encourages women to pursue their passions without the constraints of societal expectations. By embracing diverse paths to success, they can cultivate a more inclusive narrative that celebrates individual choices and achievements.