Growing up in a household where money was scarce, unpredictable, or a source of tension can leave a lasting mark. You might feel guilty spending money, even on essentials. You might be extremely frugal or struggle to enjoy yourself at all. Scarcity leaves patterns that show up quietly, in choices, feelings, and habits.
At the beginning of the year, there’s one thing that tends to sit quietly on almost everybody’s mind: money. Not in a dramatic way, but as this constant backdrop, shaping how we move, what we worry about, and how the days feel. Money touches almost every part of life. It determines how we manage responsibilities, how peaceful we feel, and, in many ways, how we experience ourselves.
Sometimes that relationship is simple, and other times it is tangled. Growing up in a household where money was scarce, unpredictable, or a source of tension can leave a lasting mark. You might feel guilty spending money, even on essentials. You might be extremely frugal or struggle to enjoy yourself at all. Scarcity leaves patterns that show up quietly, in choices, feelings, and habits.
In our society, this is layered further. Money is not just about you. It is relational. How you earn, save, or spend is noticed by families, friends, and communities. Your ability to provide becomes a measure of how you are seen. That can make financial planning feel heavier, because it carries both practical and social weight. You are managing more than your own life; you are managing expectations and responsibility that extend beyond yourself.
Scarcity shapes everyday habits. Checking your bank balance often. Feeling tension after spending, even on necessities. Struggling to enjoy money because it feels fleeting. Acting quickly out of fear instead of clarity. These are not failures. They are learned responses to the realities you have lived through. And sometimes, even when income increases, the nervousness lingers. The fear of losing it can remain.
Money also connects closely to self-worth, especially in early adulthood. Many people measure themselves through income and productivity. When money is tight, confidence drops. When income increases, pressure grows. Progress begins to be measured through numbers rather than rest, relationships, or calm. Money often becomes a lens for evaluation rather than a tool for support.
Being intentional about money comes from noticing how it shows up in your life. Paying attention to habits, patterns, and feelings allows you to respond differently over time.
Noticing these patterns is one thing; figuring out how to respond is another. Change does not happen overnight, and it does not require perfection. There are small ways to begin shifting your habits, ways that create breathing room and help money feel less like a source of constant tension.
Notice the facts. What do you actually earn each month? What do you owe? How much is non-negotiable? Seeing the numbers clearly often calms the background tension that thrives on uncertainty.
Reflect on your money story. How did money show up while growing up? Was it scarce, unpredictable, or stressful? Recognising these experiences helps you notice patterns that influence decisions now.
Build a small buffer. Even a little saved consistently changes how money feels. It creates space and breathing room, making planning less stressful.
Plan for life as it is. Budgets that ignore real behaviour fail quickly. Leave room for rest, social connection, and unplanned events. Plans that support life are easier to keep than those that feel like punishment.
Learn how to say no. You do not have to meet every financial expectation from those around you. You do not have to cover every need, every request. Saying no protects your stability and allows you to help in ways you can sustain.
Reduce noise. Social media and conversations can distort reality and increase pressure. Protecting mental space allows focus on what matters most.
Tie goals to values. Instead of aiming for a number, think about what stability allows: supporting family consistently, resting without guilt, planning ahead. Goals tied to values feel human and steady, rather than stressful.
Pay attention to how money feels. Anxiety, relief, tension, calm—they all carry information. Noticing these signals helps guide choices without judgment.
Money does not need to define how the year feels. It can support life rather than create constant stress. Reaching that point requires patience, honesty, and the willingness to notice patterns and adjust.
As the year begins, money will continue to play its role in daily life, but it does not have to dominate every decision or emotion. With time, awareness, and clearer boundaries, it becomes easier to relate to money with steadiness rather than urgency. Progress shows up in small, consistent choices, in learning when to pause, and in trusting yourself to respond rather than react. That kind of relationship develops slowly, but it is one that supports a life that feels more grounded and sustainable.
Haika Gerson is a writer and psychology student at the University of Derby, passionate about human behaviour and mental well-being.
